Panic

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KYLE'S POV

I should have told him right there. I didn't even have to tell him I liked him. All I had to say was that we were the same and that he doesn't have to feel alone. I'm such a fucking pussy.

I sit down at my desk in calculus. Wendy sits in front of me.

"Hey Kyle"

I don't say anything. I'm lost in mental self deprication.

She turns around. "Kyle?"

I look up.  "Oh– uh-  sorry... hi." I say in a shaky voice.

"Are you doing alright?" She asks concerned.

"I– Umm... yeah... I'm fine."

"Oh" she says "Cause–  you look like your about to cry."

I swallow the lump in my throat "I'm fine" I try to smile. But I probably just look like I'm constipated.

"Okay, spill" she says.

Normally I would would stick to my guns. But I need to talk to someone. "Stan seems really pissed off for some reason. And he said he wasn't gonna go to prom."

"What! Your joking?" She exclaims

I tell her want happened and what Stan said.

She's silent for a moment like she's debating whether or not to tell me something.

"He's not pissed off." She says. "He's hurt."

"No, I'd definitely would say he seemed pretty pissed off."

She roll her eyes. "That's how guys cover up there emotions, is by acting angry. It's toxic masculinity."

I look at her confused.

She takes a deep breath like she's refraining from hitting me "Okay... think back to when he said you wouldn't be there the way he'd want."

"But I'm always there for him!" I protest.

"Oh my god, your so clueless. Not "for" him, he means "with" him."

I think for a second, and then say. "Why are you so cryptic!"

"Jesus Christ Kyle!" She snaps.

She's quite for a minute.

"Okay..." She says "I need you to tell me something."

"That's what I've been trying to get you to do this hole time! But you just keep speaking in fucking code!" I whine.

"Just listen! okay?"

I nodd

She hesitates to speak like she's choosing the right words and then says. "How much do you love Stan?"

I'm thrown off by her question. I know my answer but pause. "More than anything." I say finally.

"I fucking knew it!" She says proudly, then quickly switches back to her serious tone. "Okay now I'm gonna tell you something and it's up to you to determine what it means."

I groan

"Just Shut up and listen... I used to kind of hate you"

"Wow thanks Wendy!" I interrupt her. "Thank you so much for that very useful information. I feel so much better now." my sarcasms thick.

"Let me finish!"
"When Stan and dated I kind of resented you." She says guiltily "Stan would always leave hanging out with me to go see you. It was like seeing me was okay and we had fun, but seeing you was like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. No pun intended.  He would talk about you all the time in the sweetest way. He'd always fix him up in the bathroom before he would go see you, and His eyes never lit up for me,  the way they do for you."

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