Dark Wings (Sandor Clegane)

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Hate" Sandor grunted as he tore into his bread.

"No, there's a reason you're still here Clegane" Ray sighed as he shook his head.

"Aye, I'm a big fuckervand I'm hard to kill".

"No, there's a reason. The gods aren't do e with you let, not with either of you" Ray smiled and looked back to Jaslin who was still handing out bread.

"You didn't know me back in my time, you don't know the things I've done"

"Aye, I've heard the stories though. Yet you still managed to Get the love of a kind and innocent lady such as Jaslin. Do you really think that's note fate Clegane? She told me How you have both always found each other, do you always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. If that's not fate, I don't know what is".

"If the gods are real, why haven't they punished me then? For all the hate and killing"

"They have" Ray shot back and nodded over to Jaslin.

"She told you about the baby we lost" Sandor sighed heavily.

"Aye, she asked on of the woman to check her over. She wanted to know if she could ever bare a child again. Cried as she told us the story. Poor things only know a life of death".

Sandor remained silent as he finally looked back at Jaslin.

"She thinks you blame for it. She drowning in guilt for it, thinks you hate for it now" Ray continued.

"I don't blame or hate her".

"Well maybe try telling her that" Ray smiled and them finally left him to finish off his meal in peace.

Later that day Ray stood as his followers sat around and listened to his stories. Jaslin was sat by the back, knitting a woolen blanket when Sandor came and sat beside her.

"I was a soldier once. All my superiors thought I was brave, I wasn't. I mean I never ran from a fight, but only because I was worried my friends would see I was afraid.  So I was a coward who followed orders, no matter the orders. Burn that village, fine. Steal that farmers crops,no problem. Kill those young lads, sure thing. One time I killed a young boy as his mother watched, slit his throat open right in front of her. That night I felt such shame, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I just stated into that dark sky and heard the mother's scream in my head. I'll hear her screaming for the rest of my life. Now I can't bring that lad back, but with whatever time I've got left I can bring a little goodness into the world. It's all of us can do. It's never too late to start helping people, it's never too late to come back" Ray finished his speech and looked right at Sandor.

"We should talk" Sandor grumbled and turned to look at Jaslin.

Jaslin had almost thought he was talking to someone else. When she realised he was staring at her, she nervously put down her knitting needles and looked back at him.

"Of course" she gulped.

Sandor stood up first and began walking to a near by tree away from the group. As Jaslin quickly walked after him, Ray looked over at the couple and smiled. When they were finally alone, Sandor began to pace around in circles.

"I don't blame ya for what happened. For any of it. It wasn't anyone's fault" Sandor began.

"I ran into the twins courtyard, I put myself in that danger" Jaslin sighed.

"After what we saw there, you'd have to be fucking dead inside not to go in and try and help your own family".

"Your actions towards me speak differently. This is the first time you have looked or spoken to me in many moons".

"Aye, I found it hard to look at you, to speak with you. Not because I hated you though woman. Because I'm ashamed of me self. What kind of man am I if I cannot even protect my lady and our unborn child. I failed you, I've always failed you".

Jaslin quickly ran to Sandor and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Don't you dare Clegane, I know I have not been the easiest to love. Causing you complete trouble most the time if we are being truthful, but I would not have made this far without you. You have always put me first, despite me not doing the same. You are not to blame in any of it".

"I should have been with you" he whispered into the top of her head.

"And I should not have ran away" she replied.

Slowly Sandor places his arms around Jaslin and held her tightly forntge first time in months. "I promise you Sandor, I will never run away again, I shall remain at your side for the rest of my days, if you'll still have me?"

"I want for nothing else, but what of the girls?"

"Sansa fled the city without me and Arya has run away from me also. I have tried again and again to look and protect them, but I also need to protect myself, look after us. I'll never stop looking for them, or course not, but I will also be ensuring we remain together and safe as can be expected".

"I'll follow you no matter where" he smiled softly and finally brought his lips to hers.