He Needs You ( Jolby/Cake )

Decide Part 9

Colby couldn't recall the last time one of his moods came around, probably not since the night Jake found him crying in bed. Since he has been with Jake it all seemed fine, he was happier, he was okay, because Jake was always there. Or at least that was his theory, since his moods would come along more frequently when he was alone and needed to seek out the attention he needed. Though Jake was out today, and that was fine for the first few hours, but something triggered his system and he just wanted Jake to be home. So as the hours passed he paced around his room, going on his phone or laptop, trying to distract himself. Not understanding why today was like this, he has obviously been fine with Jake going out before, so why today? Perhaps it was just his mind, left alone for far too long.

He lets out a grunt, falling to sit on his bedroom floor, hands tapping at his phone before he drops it. His head falls into his hands and he rubs desperately over his face, fingers pressing into his hair to tug at the strands there. Gently shaking himself and letting himself fall backwards to lay on the ground, squeezing his eyes shut.

Rolling onto his side he takes a deep breath, jumping when the knock to his door came. Though he doesn't get up.

"Colby?" Sam's soft voice drifts into his room and to his ears.

"Go away."

Sam knows that tone, he paused and looked down the hall to make sure it was clear before he opened Colby's door. Thankfully he didn't lock it, it would have been awkward if he needed to break his door. He sees Colby laying there on the ground, in the fetal position. Moving in he closes the door behind himself, walking over carefully. Kneeling down next to him so he could push some hair from Colby's face.

"Where's Jake?" Sam asks, watching Colby shrug. His eyes now rimming with red, his chest squeezing unhappily as he tries to push down everything he was feeling.

"I don't deserve him." Colby says slowly, "He doesn't deserve to be... with someone so broken... with... someone who...." Colby presses his face into his the ground and whimpers.

Sam sits himself down fully, hand still stroking through Colby's hair, listening to him.

"I just want... him..." Colby sucks in a breath, trying gather himself, his thoughts, "... but I can't even say out loud in front of people that he's my boyfriend."

Sam moves to lift Colby's head so he could place it in his lap, "Colby, if you want to be with Jake, and he wants to be with you, that's all that matters. People don't need to know everything, as long as you're both happy."

"Is he happy though?" Colby asks, shifting to lay more in Sam's lap. Calming down only a little as he continued to feel his hand in his hair. "... I try.... I try so hard to make him happy but I don't know, I don't know." He shakes his he and rubs tears from his eyes.

"Have you asked him? Have you talked to, Jake?" Sam questions, looking down at Colby, watching him shake his head no. "You should talk to him then, that's the only way you guys can work things out."

"He's just going to.... make sense and be nice and I hate it... I hate how nice he is. Sometimes I just want him to really just... tell me what he feels. Just... I don't know, be a little rough with me..." Colby says out loud, shocking himself. Not realizing that he felt that way until the words left his mouth.

"... like you used to be." He goes on and Sam feels his cheeks heat up at the comment.

Shaking his head, Sam shifts a bit, "Don't say stuff like that. What we did it was... not like you and Jake. It wasn't..." He paused and looks up away from Colby. "... it wasn't healthy."