Ringing

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I lay in bed, shrouded in darkness. I stare up at the ceiling, thinking. I glance at the clock, and it's blinking lights tell me that it's a few minutes after midnight. The room is silent, but a familiar ringing fills my ears. It's high pitched and non-stop. I close my eyes, silently hoping for it to go away. 

I mutter under my breath, hoping the noise will make it stop and ask myself, "Why me? Why does this always happen to me? Why am I the one who can't sleep because their brain has multiple ways to show that it refuses to let them? Why me!?" 

Nothing changes.

Slowly but surely, the ringing only gets louder. I roll onto my side, forcing my ear into the mattress. It becomes painful to listen to, and I bury my head between my arms, curling in on myself. The heels of my hands dig into my ears and the ringing starts to fade, but only barely. After what feels like an hour, I hear the closest thing to silence I've heard in weeks. The ringing is dull, but not gone. It never is. It's never gone. It never leaves.

I groan and shift so that I can see the clock. It's blinking lights seem to mock me and my pain. 12:17.

I shut my eyes again, turning to face the wall.

This is going to be a very long night.

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