Him 2: Problems

19.

Nicki

I feel like I trust too much. One minute everything can be perfect for me. Then the next life be like "oh she happy, we can't have that." Take two steps forward just to get knocked three steps back. Jacob was there for me and I was there for him. But he wanted me to be there in a different way. I just couldn't be with him because it wouldn't be right.

I needed him for the human closeness I desired so desperately. When he kissed me for the first time I felt like it was right. But then we he kissed me for a second time if felt like he wasn't right for me at all.

Ray pulled me out of my thoughts when he started singing along to Alicia Keys Un-thinkable. I didn't know he could sing at all so I joined in. But the whole time I looked the other way out the window. I can always feel him looking at me.

"Can you pay attention to the road? Iont feel like dying today." I groaned putting head back on the head rest.

"You can sing girl." He said turning his attention to the road again. "I never heard you sing before."

"Maybe it was for a reason. Where the hell you taking me?" I was started to get frustrated sitting in this car with him.

"Chill out and sit back like you been doing. How long you been singing?" He asked glancing at me.

"Forever. I sing to Rashaad when he gets sick. When he was five he didn't want to go to school and he was pretending that his meds was making his stomach hurt. I really aint know until I realized he just wanted to hear me sing." I smiled because I remember him in little Cars pajamas pants and no shirt standing in my door way asking me to sing him to sleep.

"We here." Ray got out the car and I looked around the area and seen nothing but fucking trees.

I hopped out the car and followed him this steep ass hill. We walked all the way up to the top and just stood there looking down at the hundreds upon hundreds of dark green tree tops. "Sit and remember."

What did he mean remember? Remember what? I looked around but I didn't sit down. I don't like grass to much to be sitting in it. I looked to my right not a damn thing came to mind except how gigantic these trees are. I looked to my left and seen a tree stump. I walked the little ways over to it and took a close look at it. It had one craving and one only. "Nicki and Ray got that lifestyle to ponder over. Forever our love will last. 7/15/2015"

I don't know why but I cried covering my mouth with my hands. Ray came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I aint bring you here to cry baby." He whispered in my ear. I just couldn't help it.

"Remember now. Our first normal date." I laughed. I turned around still in his arms. He eyes would burn a hole through me if they weren't as soft as they were.

He smiled looking down on me. "Nicki I really do love you to death. I just need you and obviously you need me. So Ima help you out with this shit and then we can go back to our corners and work our way back together. In a normal fashion." He smiled at me even more.

I couldn't help but laugh. "You still dumb as hell. But okay." I bit my bottom lip and stared at him.

"Go head and ask will I stay with you." He sighed playfully.

"Please?" I really did want him to stay with me and plus Rashaad will love it.

"I need a kiss then I will." He had this big smirk plastered across his face.

I stood on my tippy toes and gave him the best kiss he would get until Im ready to be with him for real. He got into it quicker than excepted and he bit my bottom lip. I pulled away. "Come on let's get your shit."