What now? Sad Dan and Phil fan fiction

Chapter 43

Phil opened his eyes. His eyes glared at the ceiling, took a breath in and exhaled. He tilted his head to his right, but Dan wasn't there. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and put his glasses on that was set on the table. Phil grabbed his phone and it was 8am. He stood up and put the pillows back in place, under a pillow was a note.

"Morning bub, if you are reading this I want to say I love you and forever will, I have decided to leave, but I'll be back soon I promise. I'm sorry for not telling you earlier and you are probably sad and angry, but seeing your smile yesterday I didn't want to ruin. I am still going to fight for you, fight for us. But it's best if we were far apart. Late last night, when you were sleeping I received a text from my mum. She found out that I didn't go to the school and I didn't want you to be involved with my family problems, so early this morning I had to leave. I'm sorry if this is hurting you, cause I know it is destroying me, but that's love. We need to get hurt to realise how much that person means to you. In another universe we would be together for eternity. Just us. Just me and my lion. If you do try search for me, you probably won't find me as I choose to hide. There is no point hiding these feelings, but reality kills me. I know that we can't be together. As much as I want to, there is something that will set us apart. But one day when all the pain is over we will find each other. This is not goodbye, but I'll see you soon. Cause saying goodbye is forgetting and never come back, but that won't happen as I will never forget you. You are my soulmate, you are Phil! There is only one Phil Lester and that one Phil Lester is the one I love...

-Dan, your bear"

Phil grabbed his phone and put on his shoes. He opened the front door and headed outside. He got a bus to the law school that Dan was going to and went to the front door of the school to talk to the administrator.

Phil: "Good morning, I was wondering if you have seen a student today or marked in...his name is Daniel Howell? He told me, he was here and I was wondering if he is in?"

Administrator: "Sorry, there is no Daniel Howell. He was supposed to be here yesterday and today but he is not."

Phil: " That's okay, thank you. If he does come here, this is my phone number, please contact me."

Phil started to walk away from the school and walked towards the park, where it was the nearest bus station. He called Dan but no answered. But then he heard a ringtone that sounded exactly like Dan's, Dan's ringtone was very unique. Phil turned around and saw a person peeking behind a tree. Phil started to walk towards the person and the ringtone was getting louder and louder. The mysterious person started to run, and Phil chased after him.

Phil shouted while chasing the person: "Dan? Is that you? Come back."

They both continued to run, hearts started to beat faster and faster and then Phil stopped and stood there...

Phil shouted: "Dan I know that is you, I don't understand why you are doing this. If you really do love me you'll stop running. And if you don't then continue to run but I can't promise you that I will continue to chase after you. I'm fed up of chasing, don't you understand how painful it is. For years I have fallen for you, did you feel it or you never loved me. From the first day we met I felt something that I never felt before. Were you just lying? There was no Dan and Phil. It was just Dan the whole time, cause that is what people care about. No one loves me, not even you. People don't care about my health, my happiness, my content. And what I said about phan was true. The only reason people want me is cause of phan and I'm just hiding in your shadow. I don't get it, what is wrong with me?"

The mysterious figure stopped running and turned around...it was Dan.

Dan: "There is nothing wrong with you, you're perfect."

Phil: "Then why you are running away? You promised you will fight for us. It's going to be like the day we fought and all of this happened. I don't want to experience what I went through. Because of the fighting I lost you and you nearly died.... I don't know what I would do if I lose you again. Please stay. Please."

Dan: "Love is this feeling, more than sexual attraction, isn't it? It's this terrifying fear and anxiousness that you get from being alone. When you don't have that it's comforting. So it is that fear of that person not being there...and I'm scared to lose you. But I don't think you can handle the pain I'll give you."

Phil: "I'll handle the pain for you, and only you."

Phil grabbed Dan's cold hands and gave him comfort. They looked at each other and their eyes started to water.

Phil: "Remember, we will do it together. I'm not going to let go, as long as you won't let go, I won't. "

Dan: "What if I have no other choice, but to let go."

Phil: "But you won't right?"

Dan looked down at the floor and showed Phil his phone. It was a text from his mum a few hours ago.

"Dan I know you didn't go to the school, they contacted me and I feel like it wasn't for you. I talked to your grandmother and I agree it wasn't right to send you to law school when I knew you wanted to do youtube. And I'm sorry, I hid you away from your past, I was scared to lose you, because of love. But I understand that Phil is a lovely person and he will love you, so you can be free with Phil. But...there was bad news from the doctor. Your results came in yesterday from your last appointment and it isn't good. You are still very sick. Anything can happen with this disease ...I'm sorry Daniel. Love mum."

Phil: " Why did you lie to me?"

Dan: "I was scared...If we continued to love, I'm hurting you and myself more as I know that we can't live happily ever after and one day I have to let go. No matter how strong you will hold me, I won't be able to."

Phil: "You are strong and you will fight for us, please remember that. I'm going to spend every second with you and I won't let this disease stop us. I love you so much and forever will, love can fight through anything. Promise no matter how much it hurts, you will hold on?"

Dan: "I promise..."