Identity [FINISHED]

(21) Fighting Two Forces

(21)

Beyoncé

Owen had started to kiss me roughly. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, trying my best to return the aggressiveness he was displaying. His hands found their way to my waist. His lips detached from mine and were glued onto my neck. I moaned softly, something about this didn't feel right. I tried to push him off but he continued to kiss my neck.

"Owen, I don't want to do this right now." Of course I didn't get an answer. "Baby, Stop." He pulled away from me and looked up at me with concerning eyes. I could definitely tell he wanted me by the way he was standing. He knew that I wanted him to but... it just didn't feel right.

Owen sat on the bed and turned off the lamp before sighing. I frowned. I didn't want to let him down like that... but I knew something was happening with him. Having sex with him wasn't going to solve this problem. Even if I wanted it as much as he did.

"Owen, can we talk?" I asked. Even in the dark I could see he wanted to be alone. The distant body language he had displayed made me back away from him. It clearly looked like he was fighting off some emotions. Then I heard him cry again. It broke my heart. He wouldn't talk, he barely could communicate with me like a normal human. I knew he wasn't normal though... he wanted to be. But he wasn't. I didn't like normal, I liked unique a personalities and he had that. He had what I liked no matter what body he was in. I didn't care if he had tits or no tits. Dick or no dick he was still my Owen. If it meant calling him Onika for the rest of my life... just to have him I would. "Onika..." He seemed to respond to Onika more... I guess this meant, he wanted to be called that.

"Y-Yes," he whispered. I almost couldn't hear it. It looked like Onika was making an appearance... even if Owen wanted to strictly stay Owen... he couldn't. He couldn't continue to hide his lovely deep voice that was heard at certain times. His voice now was high pitched, his eyes were darker, he walked with more of a feminine touch. I saw him look at my clothes and sigh once... is he really about to go back to being Onika? If he is... this just might be one of the most amazing things to happen.

I went over to her and grabbed her face and planted kisses all over it. "I love you Onika. Whatever you have to offer to me, I'll take it. If you need to cry, cry, I'll be thee for you. I'm never leaving you... remember that." I felt like, I needed to tell her this. It mattered to me whether she was down or up. I didn't notice that she had turned the lamp back on. Her eyes were full of fear.

"Hold me," she says. I sat on the bed and wrapped my arms around her. "I-I can't... do this. I can't do this... everything hurts."

"Can't do what baby?"

"I... don't want to hurt you with how confused I am. I don't know who I am. I don't feel right inside... it feels like I'm fighting two forces that are trying to pull me in. I'm scared, I just want this feeling to stop." She held on to me as she cried.

"You're not hurting me. You're helping me. I'm becoming a better person but understanding the situation you're going through. Everyday I learn something new about you and it makes me happy. You bring me joy. So please baby, don't worry about hurting me... I just want you better."

"Beyoncé..." she says. She pulls away and stares at me before laying down in bed. She continued to look at me before patting the bed. "I don't understand how I could meet someone in such a short time...and fall in love with them... I wonder if we're really in love. People will doubt it because-" I shushed her.

"I don't care what people think... they can't say anything about us that would make me doubt my love for you. I know it's been a short time and I'm just as surprised as you are. That doesn't change the way I feel about you. I've liked you even before I originally met you. So I guess you can say I knew of you for a long time."