Forked Roads Back

57 - TESSA

"GOOD EVENING." WE ARE greeted by an attendant in black tie and tails.

Jamie nods a greeting and I smile at him, suddenly feeling very aware of my shoes. I step closer to Jamie and he instinctively puts his arm around me.

"Do you have a reservation?" He asks.

"Yes, under McGregor. Sorry, we're a bit early."

He nods. "It seems your table is ready. Would you like to go to the table? Or can we interest you with a drink at the bar?"

Jamie looks at me before saying we'll go to the table, so the man takes two leather bound menus and a wine list from the shelves next to him and gestures for us to follow him. I follow first, and I feel like my jaw is on the floor as I take in the exquisite decorations of the dining hall, with high ceilings, a beautiful chandelier, and numerous paintings of hunting scenes covering the walls.

The tables are all dressed plainly, but all have beautiful centrepieces, and when we get to our table, I note there is a single red rose on one plate. I look at Jamie, who kisses my knuckles before helping me to my seat, bending down to drop a kiss on my shoulder before he takes his seat.

The rose and the fancy restaurant suddenly make me think if there is some kind of anniversary I've missed, but then I push that out of my mind. It's a beautiful restaurant, and I'm with someone who I love more than I could ever imagine, so I smile at him before the waiter hands me my menu.

"I'll bring over some tap water but someone will be over to take your order shortly," he smiles as he walks away from us.

"This place is beautiful," I say, still looking around.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool. Dad supplies all the whiskey here." He flicks to the back of the wine list and hands it to me. Sure enough, every entry is a McGregor blend. "Although we won't be forcing it on you like last time," he laughs.

I smile, but my smile suddenly fades as Matt pops into my mind, thinking about another experience he's missed. He loves whiskey.

"Sorry."

I look up and shake my head. "No, don't be. I was just thinking about Matt." I sigh. "You know next month it'll be four years since he died. It's weird."

He takes my hand over the table. "You've come a long way since then, Tess," he says, smiling. "You've become someone I know Matt would be very proud of."

"Yeah but I can't help thinking it's because I'm here that I'm better. It may be a whole different story when we're back home. Being home will remind me of him, and will make things a lot harder to bear."

"It will be different, yeah. But I don't think it'll be as hard as you think." He kisses my hand. "You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, baby. It'll be different, sure, but it'll be great." He strokes a gentle thumb over my cheek before moving a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "You'll see."

I nod, leaning my cheek into his palm. "I know. I've just got to let go somehow," I smile. "Matt wouldn't want me to be sad or down because of him." I laugh as I remember him saying something similar. "I do keep telling myself this. Constantly." I roll my eyes.

"Hey, he was a huge part of your life, and losing anyone is hard. And after what you've been through, you're truly amazing." He smiles. "An inspiration really."

His words catch me off guard, but seeing as I don't want to cry on what is one of the most perfect days, I decide to change the subject.

"So... What are you most looking forward to? About London?" I ask.

"You."

"You already have me. That won't change," I smile.

"I know. But it'll feel more like what the rest of our lives will feel like."