Reasonably Clueless

my SIXth remaining brain cell

Bonjour children. Today's chapter of Reasonably Clueless will be for my cats. Also, it will probably have a lot of errors and typos because I was at a party and I don't feel so good (major headache, fam).

lesgettit

________

A poem:

Your green eyes are greener than kiwis, your fur black like the night sky. Your playful mind is so fascinating to me, especially how you manage to fall asleep everywhere except  your bed. 

You are with me during my saddest times, but during my happiest, you are hiding behind the couch. 

Yes, I am slightly triggered by the fact that you sleep from 7 am to 6 pm and stay up all night attacking your sister, Minah, but you are too adorable to hate. 

You and Minah mean the world to me, and I cannot wait until you realize that my legs are not scratching posts. 

Love you! 

______

Next, a list of things that my cats have done:

Minah: Knocked over flowers and turned her face yellow, got into my copic markers and turned green, ruined every pair of dark clothing I have with her white fur, got stuck in the frame of my bed for 3 hours, barked even though she is not a dog, screamed, got stuck in the cabinet and ate chips, danced to kpop (exo, specifically), got stuck inside a snow boot

Kiwi: comes in my room as soon as I wake up and attacks my face, attacks Mina, eats a lot of food, scratched every pillow I own, fallen from the top shelf of my closet, screamed, made friends with a grumpy cat plush, tried to attack my bearded dragons (they are fine, don't worry), woken me up at 3 am, messing up my work by walking on my keyboard, almost got stolen by my friend (she was kidding lol)

________

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Now that you have some information about my cats, I would like to announce the mini-series that will be in this one. It is called 'The Kitty Files' and is about (of course) my two precious kitties. It isn't good, but it is based off of real events and it is for my own satisfaction. Hope you will like it too. I will post the episodes every once in a while here in Reasonably Clueless. 

I present to you, THE KITTY FILES ep.1 'Minah's POV':

What is my owner doing? She has been sitting there for a really long time. I'll go over to her. 

Ooh, what is this black thing? It has all these buttons everywhere, I should press them. 

"Minah! No! That's an important document!" 

Silly owner, I don't know what a document is. Uh oh, my owner finally got up, and she is mad. She hit her paw on the door and fell in front of me. Also, her paw is weird. It has no hair, and the claws are very short, and not sharp. 

My owner is screaming, should I do something? I rub my face against hers (which is also almost hairless), and she gets up. Yay, I helped! 

Oh, what's this? Owner went into the scary room with the big white hole.... I can't push the door open with my nose. I meow at her to open the door for me. 

"No, Minah. You can't come near my computer anymore." she said to me. 

What is a computer lmao? She still won't let me in. 

"Minah, I'll be out when I finish this paper."

After sitting in front of the door for a while, she finally comes out. She looks tired. I'm tired. 

Owner goes to her bed and sleeps. I sleep on her pillow. 

That day, I dreamt about food. Not the canned stuff, but the fancy stuff that I saw on owner's glowing black thing. It looked so good. I think it was called salmon or something. 

Well, I'm bored now. Goodbye friendz. 

//

A/N: My cats LOVE walking on my keyboard and ruining work, so I lock myself in the bathroom because my other rooms don't have locks. 

And YES, Minah knows how to open doors. Unfortunately. 

As always, sorry about typos, grammatical errors, etc, because this chapter is really sloppy.

Also, I've decided to put in a picture of myself for those curious. 

TODAY'S QUOTE:

"If cats could talk, they wouldn't." -Nan Porter

Until we meet again, I bid you adieu

~la jeune fleur~

(double upload coming soon?)