Human Error

BOOK 2 // TWENTY: Next Move

            "You should probably eat something, you know."

I looked up from my spot at the dining table, where I'd been staring into space, to see Jace standing over me. He was carrying a tray, with two bowls balanced on top.

"I brought you some soup," he said, answering the question I hadn't asked. "In case you wanted it."

I didn't. In fact, after the events of that morning, I couldn't see my stomach ever settling long enough to hold anything down. But it would've been rude to point this out to Jace. He was only trying to be nice.

"Oh," I said. "Thank you."

He took this as an invitation to sit down beside me, placing a bowl in front of me. He'd even picked me up a spoon from the cutlery drawer. Such a tiny thing, and yet at the same time, so thoughtful. It only made me feel worse.

"I'm really not very hungry," I told him.

"I know," he said gently. "But you should really try to eat something. It's not good for anyone for you to starve. Especially me."

He smiled tentatively, like he wasn't quite sure what my reaction would be. He really was just trying to be nice. So I managed to force one back, even though it felt little more than muscle movement, which seemed to reassure him.

Today had been the worst day I'd had in a while, clouded by a shadow that now lingered over everything, pulling like a dead weight on my shoulders. I was still trying to wrap my head around what I'd seen. It didn't seem real somehow, even though the proof had been right in front of me, undisputable and equally horrifying.

For the most part, I felt guilty. Guilty that I'd barely spared a thought for Orla, Verity or Henry since leaving New London, even though they were supposed to be my closest friends. What kind of person did that make me? Even with the excuse of not having a viable way to contact them, that didn't get me out of not thinking about them. I'd spent so much time considering the realities of the situation for Jace and I, in this new location – but I'd forgotten those I left behind.

And now I'd been given the worst possible reminder.

"We have to do something," I said to Jace, the words bursting out of me on pure impulse. "Has Nova said anything today? About what she's planning?"

He looked up, meeting my eye over the untouched dinner. "Um... not really," he said. "I'm not sure she's planning anything."

"What?"

Jace swallowed. "Well, I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know for definite, but... it didn't seem like anything was in the works. At least not anything urgent."

"No." I dropped my spoon, and it clattered to the table with a noise that jolted us both. "There has to be. After what we saw... we can't just sit back and do nothing."

"I don't know for certain," he said quickly. "It's just... that's the way it seemed."

"I need to speak to her."

He appeared to sense I was moments away from getting to my feet, and reached across the table to take my hand. And it worked, because the movement stopped me in my tracks. "Astrid," he said gently. "It's okay. Today's been a shock, I know. But you need to look after yourself. You need to take time to breathe, to process it all. I don't want you to do something you'll regret."

"Something I'll regret?" I echoed. "Jace, I don't see what I could regret more than not helping my friends when I had the chance."

"I know," he said. "I know you want to do whatever you can to help them, and that's completely understandable. But I'm not sure what we can do. They're all the way down in New London, and now they've been taken, we don't have any way of getting to them – let alone breaking them out."