Searching (On Hold)

Pregnant

FaithPOV

I can't believe I'm engaged. I always thought that I would get married one day then when I got pregnant, I resolved myself to a lonely life because I didn't think I would find anyone I could trust to let into our lives. When Ash first asked me for a private dance, I thought that she would be like all the other clients and I would make a good amount of money. I was more than surprised when I saw her at the park and she met Rebecca that she still wanted to take me on a date. I couldn't resist her after that.Our first date was amazing and everything after has been just as amazing. When she finally said that she loved me, I was over the moon about it. I then had to hesitate like a dummy, but I knew I loved her and I knew that the first step in starting our lives together would be to move in together.When we flew to Washington to spend Thanksgiving with Ash's parents, I was terrified. I mean, if they didn't like me, what did that mean for us. Thank God they approved. They accepted us without a single problem. Kate and I bonded quickly and had a better relationship with each other than my mother and I ever had. I was sad when we had to come back home, but I took comfort in knowing that I would see them in a few weeks when they flew in for Christmas. Ash had been acting strangely since we had gotten home. She seemed to be constantly nervous. It was nice to have the house to ourselves this weekend. I never excepted Ash to propose to me this soon. I thought that it would take her at least two years before she popped the question. There was just no way I could say no when it happened though. I love her too much and I'm ready for this step.I loved the fact that she recreated our meal from our first date for dinner before she popped the question. When she asked me if I saw myself with her in a few years, I got nervous. I didn't know where she was going with that question and, at first; I really didn't want to find out.Ash had told me the next day about Jennifer being pregnant, and I was ecstatic for them. I wanted to talk to Ash about having more kids, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up to her before she proposed.All of our friends were ecstatic for us when we told them about the engagement. Vanessa,Tim, Angela, and Edward immediately wanted to start planning an engagement party, which was agreed to be set for when everyone's families were here for Christmas.Ash's parents are set to fly in today. It's a week before Christmas and our engagement party is three days away. I'm at home alone while Ash and Rebecca are headed to the airport to get her parents. I hadn't been feeling well in the past week when I wake up. I think I already know what's going on. I felt the same way when I found out I was pregnant with Rebecca. I had went to the store a few days ago and picked up the test. I had hidden it in one of the guest bathrooms so no one would find it. I just haven't really been alone to take the test. Now here I am, sitting on the bathtub rim waiting for the test to come back. I'm pretty sure I know what the results are, but I don't know how I feel about it yet. On the one hand, I'm a bit excited to know that I will be having Ash's baby and I feel safe knowing that she is in this for the long haul. On the other hand, I'm scared that she isn't ready for another kid and may run away from me. I don't know how I would be able to deal with her leaving me. I know I would be able to get through it for Rebecca and my other baby, but I don't think I would be able to ever trust anyone again.I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't realize that the test is ready until I hear Ash yell out that they were home. I throw the test under the sink without looking at it and ran out of the room and down the stairs to see everyone. I guess I'm just going to have to sneak in there to see the results later. I think to myself.As soon as I see Kate I walk up to her and give her a big hug. After I release her, I turn to Charlie and give him a hug as well.

"I'm going to go show my parents to their room and let them relax I'm thinking we should just order pizza for dinner tonight. What do you think?" Ash asks me.

"That sounds good I'll get some lunch started." I tell her as I pick up Rebecca.I walk us to the kitchen and place Rebecca down. I then grab stuff out to make sandwiches. I hear Ash call to me that her parents are going to eat lunch with us before they take a nap.We all sit in the living room and catch up while we ate. When Kate and Charlie went to lay down, I also put Sophie down for a nap. I followed Kate and Charlie up stairs and saw them go into the room with the bathroom where I took my test. All I could do is pray that no one found it before I could get to it.