Thissà

Chapter - 5

 
  " Let it make me numb
  let it scar me deep

let it disturb me
let it frustrate me

let it make me think
let it make me cry

I'll go cold and ice
I'll go dark and vain

I'll stare blank at your face
I'll keep my lips touching

i have let it in me
i have let it in me
and now I'll let it in you
I'll let it in you
i was not this before nor was you
and i am a stranger since ...."

    " Could you please open that window ? " asked sumathi to hassan who was sitting by the window and was smoking like a chimney .

  Hassan lit another cigar and gave a sharp look at sumathi , and then turned his face ignoring her request ,
" Could you please open that window !?? It's suffocating me in here ! "
she started coughing while their small bedroom filled with cigar smoke ,
hassan slowly stood up from the couch and moved towards sumathi who was sitting on the corner of the bed ,
the displease was clearly visible on hassan's face  , he stood up and went near her and then he blew a thick bunch of smoke on to sumathi's face ,
her eyes got all watery because of the smoke and her coughing worsened ,
he slowly placed his hand on sumathi's head and lowered it to the back of her head and pulled her hair tightly
she let out a squeak in pain ,
hassan lowered his face near to sumathi's and he kept on grabbing her hair tighter and at the top of his lungs he screamed at her
" YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD DO AN ERRAND FOR A WOMAN !!!"
  and in a swift action he pushed her head against the head board of the cot hitting sumathi's head onto the corner cutting her temple and she started to bleed. 

Issa was standing by the door startled to see his father abusing his mother !
He thought " this is not abuse , he is not angry , he just denied her the most basic human right to breath  ! "
he could not understand why a husband would do such a thing to his wife ! And why a man would not open a window for a women !

Issa's nearly broken family and abusive father played a major role in his existential crisis at the early age of 17 ;
   "  What have i done to deserve to be born to such an abusive and oppressing father !!!!
What does ' ummi ' sees in him to stick with him !? What has she seen in him which made her fall in love with him and marry him !?"

issa's mind kept racing while he was standing still seeing sumathi bleed , sumathi's body was covered with bruises and cuts no make up in the world can cover ,
suddenly out of the haze , issa grabbed a towel and he applied pressure on sumathi's wound to stop the bleeding ,
he then escorted her to the next room and asked her to lay down so that he can apply medicine and bandage on the wound .

   sumathi could see issa's eyes filling up with tears while he sat next to her and was cleaning her cut,
it was after a very long time issa and sumathi was sitting this close , and as issa had never known what a normal mother or a father is, he did not crave any affection from them , but he felt bit weird sitting near to her , any kind of affection made issa feel like a fish who was just pulled out of the water for a second and left back in
it was not that issa was filled with tears because his mother was being beaten up by his father, but it was more of tears of sympathy from a human who felt lost and lonely to another human who was in vain and oppressed. 

sumathi slowly cupped issa's face in her hand and she wiped his tears with her fingers ,
     " why ? why did you choose him ? what makes you stick with him  even after all these ?"  asked issa swallowing a lump in his throat ,