"What's depression like?" He asked.

Don't let friendships go to waste.

A girl gave me - probably without meaning to - a subject to write about. Something I should've come up with myself, but for some reason never popped into my head.

It's something we all deal with in life. Maybe once, maybe multiple times. As we grow up, our lives change and eventually: people leave. Which is exactly where this chapter is going to be about. 

I'm sure you had a friend. A good friend, that you used to talk to a lot. Somebody you talked to daily, joked around with. Someone who understood you and who you could read like a book. Someone you thought you'd never loose, but eventually did. Maybe because something happened between you two, maybe because you simply stopped talking. Maybe you both changed and weren't the same as before, which made your friendship disfunctional. 

I've known a person like that. His name was Aaron and we met each other in eighth grade and went to the same high school afterwards. I was a shy kid with huge anxiety towards other people. I didn't make friends easily (as I've said before in my book). For some reason Aaron and I clicked and became friends. We did a lot of stuff together, watched movies, made homework and played video games. 

He was a part of the little group me and my friends formed, which included Alex, Matt and Chase. We hang out together a lot and I expected us to stay friends for a very long time.

Only, we didn't. As my depression got worse, I realized I was pushing everybody away, including Aaron. We started to speak less, hang out less, until we drifted apart completely. 

Ofcourse, I take all the blame for this. Pushing people away when you need them the most is the worst thing you can do, but almost everybody does it. You feel you bother the other with your problems and you rather fix them on your own, even though you know you can't. 

Do I blame him for leaving and not staying like Alex, Matt, Chase and the rest? No. Because when you get pushed away by somebody you thought was your friend, you start doubting yourself. You think that person doesn't want you in his life anymore, so ofcourse you leave. It's a natural thing to do, but I miss him for sure. 

Neither of us have tried to get back in touch, but lately I've been thinking about it. I'm sure we both changed and picking up our friendship where we left it, is going to be impossible, but I'm sure we can start something new. 

When you stop talking you used to talk a lot to, you will always miss that person. Maybe you don't think about them for weeks, but eventually they pop back into your head. You wonder how they're doing, what they're up to, if they miss you too. 

All I'm trying to say is that drifting away from a good friend is such a shame. You don't meet many good friends in your life. Only a few honest people, people who honestly care about you. And whether you have hurt them or they have hurt you, trying to get back to that person is something you won't regret. 

I'm going to see if I can contact Aaron tomorrow. Make an appointment with him and talk things over. Ask how he's doing and apologize for pushing him away. He deserves an apology. 

Moral of the story: don't let friendships go to waste. Don't hold so many grudges. Don't just let things fade. 

I hope you all enjoy your day (: 

- Kyran