I'm Sick And Tired Of Fighting Each Other. The Lying, The Crying

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"Where were you?", i thought about alot of places Ronnie would go and i hoped none of them where girls.

"I went to Ryan's" Ronnie sighed shaking his head "I told Ryan about you and-" Ronnie looked down between us before looking back at me "He said things that really made sense", Ronnie rested his forehead against mine breathing calmly.

I stared into his deep brown eyes searching them not to sure what to think, at least he went to Ryan's and not a woman's house that was a relief, "What are you saying?", I whispered.

"I'm saying, i don't want to be like my mother", Ronnie tightened his grip on the sheets underneath me, "Liisa please forgive me i was out of line, I love you, I love you so much, i don't want this thing to ruin us", Ronnie's voice was pleading and his eyes seemed really lost.

"Thing?, you mean baby", I whispered feeling sick at the word 'Thing'.

"Our baby" Ronnie gave me a smile but it seemed off, "We ain't ready but we will manage", Ronnie kissed my cheek gently.

His sudden change of words were shocking it made me skeptical why was he saying this?, not more then 12 hours ago he was telling me to get rid of the baby, "Why have you changed your mind?".

Ronnie looked down at me his face not really giving much away "Because i love you, and your my wife, what kind of man would it make me if i up and left you", Ronnie sighed shaking his head, "I never want to be anything like my mother, i hate my mother", Ronnie fists curled into fists just talking about her.

I felt sorry all of a sudden "You wont be like your mother you will make a good Daddy", I whispered kissing his chin.

Ronnie didn't know what way to react at be called a daddy he just made a awkward 'hmp' in the back of his throat, "I can only try", his lips found mine and i kissed him back trailing my fingers slowly down his back.

"Everything you do Ronnie is perfect, like music you adapt quick so will this", I whispered against his lips.

"Maybe", Ronnie rolled off beside me pulling me into his arms "I will try baby, I'm going to try being a good dad", the words came out distorted and i still wasn't sure what he was really thinking, did Ryan's words really hit home to Ronnie?, if so i was going to have to thank Ryan for setting Ronnie on the clear path.

"Did you go anywhere else but Ryan's?", i had to ask it was annoying me.

Ronnie was stroking my back but stilled his fingers at my question, "No just Ryan's".

Suddenly i felt suspicious but dropped the question, i laid in his arms quietly thinking about why he acted so weird to my question, why would he react like that unless he was with someone else?, Ronnie's hand kept up the slow rhythm up and down my back until he feel asleep, looking up into his sleeping face he looked at piece and younger, this man was my beautiful husband but he was also hiding something from me, slowly i eased myself out of his arms and shuffled off the bed careful not to wake him up, i looked around the room not sure what i would find until i spotted his computer on the tabled in-front of our bed, quietly i rushed over and lifted it up without another word i walked quietly out of the room and into the kitchen, i wasn't sure what i would find but i had to do something he was keeping something from me, Storm and Charlie were quiet asleep out the back when i glanced out at the early dull morning, Storm had really grown now since i had got him he was nearly the same size as Charlie but he was going to be even bigger by the age of one, placing the laptop on the counter i turned on Ronnie laptop and waited for it to boot up then clicked on the Internet, Ronnie always left his Facebook and Twitter logged in so maybe there was a clue there, quickly i swiped my fingers across the keyboard looking off towards the bedroom as i typed in Twitter in the search engine and clicking onto Ronnie's twitter but there was no direct messages just tons of tweets from fans i opened up another tab and typed Facebook in it took me to Ronnie's Facebook page there was a notification on his private messages i hovered over the '1' new message feeling guilty but i had to know, i tapped it and the messages opened, i was shocked when i read the name.

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