Fourteen

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               She continued loving him like a Viking to Odin, the waves to the moon, Thor to his hammer

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She continued loving him like a Viking to Odin, the waves to the moon, Thor to his hammer. The others could not see it, but his heart was broken and with his mistake came his own pain, his own guilt and his own self-punishment. He was being eaten alive by the war within himself and she was the one thing keeping him from falling apart completely. Alexys and Ivar.

She loathed him with every fiber of her being. She damned him from Valhalla and hoped the gods damned him to the worst of punishments for the things he had done; for the things that he would do. The more she hated him, the more Alexys saw him in her. The more she realized her own attractions to the angered and violent. It was almost scary, but she was drawn to the broken and she felt indebted to fix them. Rain and Alexys and Ivar.

"How...how...how can you even look at him?" Rain asked, her face red with the heat and anger of a thousand suns.

"Because I see beneath the anger, I see that he is hurt, like you," Alexys replied, "You and he are a lot alike."

"I AM NOT LIKE THAT MONSTER. I'd believe he was more than his anger if he didn't do what he pleased, acting with impunity."

"No one acts with impunity," Alexys said, shaking her head, "It is just a matter of whether you can see the punishment."

"I believe you see things that are not there."

"And I believe you should watch your tongue," Alexys snapped.

"I'm no longer your servant, Alexys! You cannot order me to do anything," finalized Rain as she tore from the room, angrier than she had been in quite some time.

It was the day of Sigurd's funeral and Rain was growing tired of Alexys' defenses of Ivar. She was relentless and it was beginning to set the elder girl's teeth on edge – Rain was more learned than Alexys, she saw the severity of things for what they were and her hope...had been crushed long before Sigurd. At times, she was extremely naïve, but Ivar's true nature had been revealed to her and she could not turn a blind eye.

She clutched the spot where his blood had warmed her flesh, sticking and leaving her paralyzed in her tears, but as she felt the spot, there were no tears, just surges of rage. Her fingers curled and she wanted so deeply to kill Ivar, but even in the waves of her fury, she thought of Alexys and could not rob her dear friend of the man she had come to love. Her chest thrummed painfully as she made her way to the ship that bore the corpse of the fallen Ragnarsson. He was only seventeen, the age Alexys would soon be and the pair had spoken of how they would celebrate their name days, Sigurd to his eighteenth and Rain to her twentieth. The day would never come.

As the Vikings gathered, Ivar sat at the end of the ship, Alexys at his side. Rain could hardly catch her breath, the way his eyes gazed deeply into her being the only thought she could withhold. She had begun to blame herself for his death, perhaps it had been the trade-off that Odin had made to save her own, perhaps he had kept one too many people on Midgard. She placed a small kiss on the forehead of her fallen friend and muttered a small apology, resisting the urge to cry again.

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