The Vampire Diaries

There Goes The Neighborhood

Anna (to newly released vampires): There are over one hundred and fifty channels. It's called a remote control.Stefan: Have you thought any more about what you're going to do?

Elena: About what? Isobel, my vampire birth mother, who's related to my vampire ancestor Katherine, who screwed over your vampire brother? Nah, I haven't thought about it at all.

Stefan: I'm sorry I brought it up.

Elena: It'd just be nice if we could get through one day without having to deal with any of it. No vampire mother or brother.

Stefan: No vampires at all?

Elena: No vampires but you.

Matt: We can watch a movie at my place.

Caroline: With your mom and a six pack?

Matt: You know... You don't really help the situation. You could always try to be nice.

Caroline: Oh, I'm sorry. It's hard for me to show kindness to people that hate me. I'm not that evolved.

Pearl (talking to Harper): The keypad is for texting, which is what you do when you want to avoid talking to someone.

Damon: What exactly are you trying to achieve?

Pearl: Mystic Falls is our home, Damon. They took that from us. Our land, our home. It's time we rebuild.

Damon: What, are you crazy? It was 1864. Wake up, woman. The world has moved on.

Pearl (to Damon): I have four hundred years on you, little boy. I'll rip you from limb to limb without even blinking and you know it.Elena: Have you ever even been on a double-date before?

Stefan: Oh, absolutely. '72, Heff and the twins.

Elena: What?

Stefan: Yeah...playmates. I got Miss June.

Jenna: Don't be grumpy. It can't be that bad.

Damon: You'd be surprised. My primary reason for existence has abandoned me, and after today's events, the remains of the shaky ground that I walk on are about to go 'kaboom.' (turns to Kelly) Let's get hammered.

Jenna: Hide. We're not here.

Kelly: Why? Where'd we go?

Jenna: Children under our care, five o'clock.Matt: Is there anything you're not good at?

Stefan: Double-dating. This is all kind of new to me. I usually keep to myself. I don't always fit in.

Matt: That's because you're that guy.

Stefan: What guy?

Matt: The guy who seems like he has everything, so the people that don't kind of run the other way.

Stefan: Is that what I seem like?

Matt: Pretty much.

Stefan: Hmm... What a dick!

Caroline: (looking around the Salvatore mansion) This is much better than watching Damon visit cougar town.Frederick: Vervain. Making it hard to find something to eat in this town.

Stefan: I remember them from 1864. They were in the tomb.

Damon: Yeah, about that...

Matt: Do you know what I was doing tonight, Mom? I was having fun, you know, trying to forget about all the crap that I have to deal with every day. Just enjoying a night with my friends. And then, there you are, wasted at the bar - where I work, by the way, to pay the bills that you don't pay. And then you're off acting like a freakin' kid, hooking up with some guy half your age. I'm the kid, Mom. You're supposed to be responsible for me.

Elena: How was your night?

Jeremy: Ah... Same old, same old. You?

Elena: Yep.

Anna: How did you know?

Jeremy: I knew this girl. Vicki. She was attacked by an animal; a bite to the neck. She started acting crazy, weird, and it seemed like drugs, but then you showed me those articles. And then I saw your face and how it changed the night in the cemetery when I kissed you.

Anna: You know you can't tell anyone, right?

Jeremy: Who would believe me?

Anna: You'd be surprised.

Jeremy: Why didn't you kill me?

Anna: I don't know. Maybe I'm a sucker for guys like you.

Jeremy: Like what?

Anna: Lost. Why would you confront me about it? Why would you risk it?

Jeremy: Because if it was true, maybe it's true about Vicki. And also because I want you to turn me.