The Vampire Diaries

A few Good Men

Sorority Girl: How do I taste?

Damon: Oh...so much better than your friends.

Damon: (groans) No, Buzzkill Bob...Damon: Relax. I haven't killed anyone in...too long.Damon: You wanna discuss the women of my past right now? Seriously?

Stefan: You killed her.

Damon: What's your point?

Stefan: (shrugs) I just-- I just wanna know if you remember anything about her.

Damon: Oh, it's like a needle in a haystack, Stefan.Damon: Nothing is important. Not anymore.Damon: I have to go exploit some women in the name of grief.Kelly Donovan: Oh God. Not on my couch.Damon: Don't you have some papers to grade?

Alaric: It's, uh, more fun with a buzz.

Damon: Well, most things are. Sober is...depressing.

Alaric: You have a good afternoon.

Damon: Not likely.

Damon: You know...a room full of women clamoring to win a date with me? Sounds...tasty.

Elena: Stefan?

Damon: Better. Me.

Elena: You look, uh...

Damon: Dashing? Gorgeous? Irresistible?

Elena: Wrecked. You look wrecked.

Elena: So I found out who my birth mother is...

Damon: Ugh, who cares? (Elena glares) She left you. She sucks.

Elena: He's fine.

Stefan: He's Damon.

Elena: You know, maybe this heartache will be good for him. It'll remind him that he has one, even if it doesn't beat.

Carol Lockwood: And last but not least: Damon Salvatore. We don't have much on you.

Damon: Well, I'm tough to fit on a card.

Stefan: Elena...

Elena: He killed her? Damon was the vampire that killed her?!

Stefan: I don't know what happened. Alaric said that they never found the body.

Elena: Oh my God. Stefan...

Stefan: I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I just-- I wanted to know more.

Elena: I was feeling sorry for him. Hoping that this whole Katherine thing would change him. I am so stupid...

Stefan: He doesn't know about the connection to you. I thought about confronting him, but he's already so on-edge-

Elena: Why are you protecting him?!

Stefan: Because you're not the only one hoping that he might actually change.

Damon: (as Elena collides with him) Whoa! Easy there. Buy a ticket like everyone else.

Elena: Did you enjoy that? Rubbing it in to Alaric Saltzman?

Damon: What?

Elena: Just as I was starting to think that there was somethingredeemable about you.

Stefan: Elena...,

Damon: Am I missing something here?

Elena: Did I forget to mention, earlier when we were talking, about my birth mother? The one that 'gave me up'?

Damon: Mm-hmm.

Elena: Her name was Isabel. Go ahead...reminisce about how you killed her.

Alaric: You turned her because you 'liked her'?

Damon: No, I slept with her because I liked her. I turnedher...because she begged me to.

Damon: (drives a stake through Alaric) Ah, this is a shame. We're kindred spirits, abandoned by the women we love. Unrequited love sucks. (pulls out stake)Alaric: (gargles and gasps)

Damon: Hm. Sounds like I got a lung.

Stefan: What happened? What did you do?

Damon: Do what? He attacked me. I only told him the truth; his wife didn't want him anymore. Isn't my fault he couldn't...handle it.

Stefan: Like you've been handling Katherine?

Damon: I'm handling it fine. You know what? Isabel came to me, she found me, and if she's related to Elena, that means she's related to Katherine. Maybe Katherine sent her to me.