Make it stop, please

Chapter 18

Keith's pov:

      I woke up and I was alone In bed. I was staring at the ceiling for maybe a hour by now. I feel numb I feel like I'm not worth it. Why did the voice come back? What have I done to trigger this motherfucker? Does it really want me dead right now?
       My thoughts were disturbed by a door opening, I turned my head and see Lance walk in with a small smile.
      " hey kitten, how did you sleep?" He said in his cheerful voice.
       " I'm fine, how about you?" I'm really not fine, I wanna get out of this hell im living right now I want freedom.
        " you sound of Keith, what's wrong?" Lance said now with a concerned voice.
        Shit if I'm gonna lie I'm lossing his trust, if I don't I'll keep him worried too much about me and I don't want that.
Lance sat down on the bed and lifted me up to lay on his chest. I never realized how tall he is than me. He then started to do circles around my back.
" Keith I know something is wrong, you can tell me anything. I wanna help you, I know your thinking that it's gonna make me stress and bothered but its the opposite reaction. I want to listen and help you, the better the communication the better the relationship we have." Lance said in a soothing voice.
He's right but should I really say it, should I say how much of a freak I am. I look up at him and he noticed and looked at me with a smile. The more I realize something about him makes him a great person. He is the one who showed love and made me fall in love. He showed me that he cares about me and want to have a great bond. He used to deny the bonding moment but admitted it not long ago. He is the one who makes me truly happy when others are busy. He takes his time off to spend time with me and is concerned and realizes everything that is wrong and that's what I love about him.
I Lean in and kissed his lips, btw he's a great kisser too. We pulled apart and we both smiled.
" You know how much I love you." I asked
" How much?" Lance said with his signature smirk.
" Hella ton because your my world." I giggled.
" hahaha that was to cheesy." Lance said smiling.
We both admired and enjoyed our presents by each other. I laid down on his chest and snuggle when lance was scrolling through stuff on his phone.
" Aren't you gonna tell me what's wrong? Something is off about you earlier, like you were deep in thought about something." Lance asked.
I looked at the wall not wanting to do eye contact. He doesn't need to know how messed up I am. I opened my mouth and began.

" Ok fine Lance....."
Why tell him when he is gonna leave you

Sorry guys I thought when I finished i thought I posted it but it didn't so oops sorry