NIGEL

CHAPTER 5: STARTING OVER

My travels with Lily and Taji Ashon lasted for a number of years. I left Holly Bush with them when I was about fourteen and only when I was around sixteen or so did things change, but we'll get to that in a moment. (Patience my darlings!)
            Taji and Lily taught me how to barter and how to fight to an extent. Once in a while we were faced with obstacles in our travels but Taji was an expert at finding the safest routes to travel on. Some places were bandit territory and other parts of the woods were more magical creature populated than others. We were never in the woods for longer than a week or so without finding a town to stay in; behind safe walls.
            Everything was going okay for a while, until tragedy struck, as it always does. We were out in the woods one day, making our way to the next town. Suddenly something popped up out of nowhere and knocked us all over. The mule that pulled our cart called out in fear and we looked up to realize there was a giant sasquatch who had thundered towards us from out of the wood. We tried to fight it off, its huge hairy arms flailing about while it wailed loudly. Taji shot it full of arrows but it still didn't yield. Eventually, poor old Taji was overpowered and the beast practically threw him into a tree before he crashed into the ground. In a fit of anger, I couldn't contain myself and I leaped onto the Sasquatch's back and sunk my teeth into its thick neck. It's blood tasted revolting but the creature was immediately paralyzed and while it was on the ground, Lily stabbed it in the heart. I released from the beast and wiped my mouth, Lily staring at me in amazement. My secret was finally out.
            Before Lily had a chance to talk to me about what she just witnessed, we had to check on Taji who looked even worse than we had anticipated. He was knocked unconscious and within a matter of hours, he was gone. Lily didn't take it very well. Her father just died and she discovered in the same day that her best friend was secretly a vampire. It's fair to say she was not in a good place.
            We buried Taji and tried to scrape up our debris. Lily acted strange around me for the longest time and refused to speak. But, we still had to survive. Taji knew the terrain of Drancaria, so Lily and I basically followed his lead. Now, we had to learn to navigate the uncertain and inconsistent roads of each kingdom. Our biggest problem was our lack of knowledge regarding exactly which towns were the most lucrative. I tried talking to Lily about this issue, but she clearly wasn't ready to speak with me. All we could do was try and follow the paths we could remember and sell our wares the way Taji had taught us.
            Every night, regardless of where we were, I could hear Lily crying to herself. I wanted so badly to walk over and comfort her, but I knew I would probably just make things worse if I didn't let her alone. I tried to stay strong because I wanted Lily to feel it was okay that she wasn't okay. One of us had to hold ourselves together, but I had the desire to break down and cry just as much as she did. Taji was Lily's father but he had become a significant and caring person in my life. The entirety of my existence up to that point, I had spent pathetically searching for a father in my life. I knew for certain I didn't have a mother anymore, and nobody could've replaced her, so all I had left was the hope of a father. It seemed at every turn the world was trying to sabotage me. Lily would always say that everything was in the hands of the gods, but I stopped believing in the gods the day my mother died. What had they ever done for me? I wondered if Lily still felt that way about the gods now that her father was so cruelly and unexpectedly ripped away from her.
Lily was resilient and each scar she bared both physically and mentally she used to become stronger, but this was something different entirely. She was just as much of an orphan with no family left to speak of as I was. The only thing we had left was each other and I had just betrayed her by keeping my vampirism a secret from her for years. I so desperately wanted to explain myself but she didn't want to hear it until she was ready.
Lily and I traveled along, trying to survive in the forest without Taji and learning from experience. It was a difficult time for the both of us because we needed each other but the atmosphere between us was infinitely awkward. It's difficult for me to recall because it was such an insignificant part of my life and after hundreds of years, the details of such a time grow hazy. The most I can remember was how I was feeling but otherwise I couldn't tell you what exactly happened. It was a few months before Lily and I had a frank conversation and resolved everything. This day in particular I remember quite well actually.
Lily and I were basically in the middle of nowhere, following the path to Dragonfire, the capital of Laitharia. I was making camp when Lily turned to me, her expression unreadable. "Nigel," she began, "tell me the truth."
I was taken aback slightly by her directness, but I was glad she was speaking to me at all. "I'll tell you anything. What do you want to know the truth about exactly?" I asked, knowing very well what she was asking me. However, I wanted her to say it. I wanted her to talk to me and tell me what she wanted. Lily sighed to herself and momentarily closed her eyes. "What are you?" She asked. The words pierced through me. I knew she didn't mean it to be purposefully hurtful, but I can't pretend like I didn't feel the pain of being asked what I was. I was a person and I wanted to be seen and treated like a person, but my demon half would inevitably follow me like a haunting shadow over my life wherever I went. Not even Lily could ignore it. "My father was a vampire named James Mallory, I don't know exactly what I am but I know I am part vampire myself. James Mallory tricked my mother and murdered her right before my eyes when I was a child. Nobody but me and my mother knows the truth about what I am, until now that I've just told you." I answered, emotionlessly. Lily just stared at me. She was silent for a minute and after what felt like an eternity, simply said, "Continue."
I was relived in a way that she was reacting so calmly about this after months of worrying that she hated me. So, I told her everything. I told her all about my mother and the night James came to find us. I told her about my growing up in Holly Bush in detail, and why I chose to leave with her and Taji when I did. She listened intently and I couldn't read her expression most of the conversation. I hoped beyond hope that when I was finished she would understand, but I couldn't make out what she was thinking at all. "Lily," I said when I was finished, placing my hand over hers, "I love you, and I don't want to lose you because of what I am."
            "But why didn't you tell me?" She demanded. I sighed, "Because I didn't know how you would react and honestly I don't really know what I am myself. All I know is my father was a vampire. I can't express to you how horrible it feels to keep something like this a secret, especially from the people you care about; but I hate that part of myself too much to feel comfortable showing it to others." I tried to explain.
            She looked up, "Nigel, I understand, but you shouldn't lie to me anymore. I care about you and I can't stand the idea of you hurting because you feel like you can't tell me something. I've already lost my father and I don't want to lose you either. You're my best friend." She looked up and her gaze met mine. For some inexplicable reason, I always knew when people were lying to me, especially if I could look them in the eye, and I could see she was being completely honest. Something shot through me like an arrow, and I couldn't contain myself any longer. I took her face in my hands gently and kissed her. She pulled away after a minute and gaped at me in disbelief. "Nigel?" She uttered breathlessly.
            "I know, I'm sorry. I just had to. I've been in love with you for a long time Lily and I don't want us to go on without you knowing that. You don't have to return the feelings but-" Before I could even finish, she wrapped her arms around me tightly and kissed me back. My whole life I never felt like I could be vulnerable around anyone, but when I was with Lily it was different. I had a deep love for her and not just on a romantic level. She understood me as a person and accepted my flaws which I had grown to not expect from most people.
            "I love you too, you doofus." Said Lily with a laugh. And from then on, Lily and I were inseparable. We carried on as usual I suppose; merchanting around, fending off monsters, which was proving to be easier once I started realizing some of the stuff my body was capable of doing. I noticed the more well fed I was (in terms of blood of course) the stronger I was. I could lift our entire cart at one point by myself! I was faster than most people but not to a ridiculous degree. Lily made fun of me whenever I tried something new with my abilities and then completely failed. It usually ended with me falling over.
            A few years later, I proposed to Lily and she accepted. We didn't know when we would marry but we figured it would be a little while because we wanted to find somewhere to settle. I was afraid to have this conversation with Lily but I wasn't sure settling would be a good idea. If I was half vampire, what would our children be? I think deep down she was wondering the same thing, but at the time we didn't want to deal with it just yet. We were still working with our merchant business and as far as I was concerned we had more than enough time before we had to seriously worry about our marriage and everything that went with it. I bought her a new silver bracelet like the one she usually wore, only this one was much nicer and had a little blue stone in it, since blue was her favorite color.
            For a while everything was splendid. But you don't want to hear about that do you? Well, I suppose that's expected, especially from someone who continued reading after being explicitly warned that this story isn't really a happy one. So, dear reader the story continues but this is where it starts to get strange.