Doorstep Baby

Truth

"Why?" Was the only thing that came out of my mouth. I was trying to ask her everything, all at once. This person I didn't know held the key to my past in her hand, and I desperately wanted to say, Why did she leave me? How long have you known about me? What's your name? What's her name?  and a million other questions. But that one word was all I could manage.

Apparently she understood. "Mostly, I think it was because of our father. I was only 5, so I've only gotten this in bits and pieces, but basically, he was convinced that Mom had gotten pregnant with you after an affair. Mom swore it wasn't true, but he was apparently just looking for a way out. He left her, and us, with nothing--no place to live, no money, no car, and nobody to turn to. The day they were going to release her from the hospital, our dad dropped me off, and he told mom he was never coming back." She paused.

"He didn't lie about that." She told me more about her mother, but at that point, I must have hit a saturation point, because it all just faded together into more stuff I didn't want to think about.

I stopped her mid-story. "How do I know you're telling the truth?" I asked.

"If you really are my sister, you have a birthmark on your right hip shaped like a palm tree. And we could do DNA tests, if you want."

"I have to go, my daughter..." I trailed off, not finishing the thought. I really didn't want to process this right now, in public.

"Wait, please let me grab my girls. They're here in the gym," she said.

"Okay," I said, and then stopped her. "Your kids use this Y, too?"

"Yes, Sydney, we live here in Clearwater. Quite a coincidence, huh?" 

I seriously could not believe this. We walked down the sidewalk to the large new gymnastics gym, and we entered the viewing gallery. It was a small room with stadium seats and large windows that allowed the kids' parents to watch them hurtle and tumble and fly.  She pointed out 2 girls who seemed to be identical twins, but one had shorter hair. They looked to be about nine years old. The one with longer hair was working on her bar routine, and her sister was on the beam.

"She's Bailey," she said, nodding at the girl on the bars. "And the silly goose on the beam is Bethany. Last year they both wanted to be ballerinas, but now they want to join Cirque du Soleil." She rolled her eyes dramatically. Even in my state, I couldn't help but smile a little.

"I'll just tell the coach we have to go early, and I'll be right back."

"Does anyone else know about me?" I asked Gretchen while her girls got dressed.

"Well, sort of. I told my husband about all of that long before we got married." I was waiting to hear about her mother. Our mother, maybe.

"Sydney, there's no good way to say this. Our mother...she died a few years ago in a car accident. But you should know, she never stopped looking for you."

The girls were finished getting dressed, and we left the gym. Gretchen had them wait on a park bench while we talked some distance from them.

"Gretchen, how did you find me?" I wanted to believe, but really? My mom searched for me all her life, and now suddenly my sister finds me at the Y? This didn't seem plausible.

"That's the crazy part, Sydney. Well, one of them, anyway.  I'm a junior editor, and I work for Sota Press." She waited until it hit me.

"No." That was too strange. "You read my book?" On the urging of one of my regular customers at the cafe', I had had submitted my book to Sota several weeks ago. I just searched for nearby publishers, and that one struck my fancy because it started in Sarasota, my old stomping grounds.