"I was obsessed with digging through my mother's bookshelves when I was a child. One day while rummaging, I found a book on the occult, so I decided to take it up to my room and make a pact with the devil, you know, as 11 year-old children do. Alone in my room, I read aloud various parts of the book until I was certain I found an incantation that was sure to bind my soul to the Dark Lord. Immediately upon finishing the vow, the little overhead light in my bedroom went out. I do not mean the light bulb burnt out - it completely shattered. To this day, I'm not entirely sure if I have ownership over my immortal soul."
