Something Else Entirely

15 - Do not push your luck, woman!

"But, Jet, you know how excited I've been for this! Surely one visit can't hurt. Women here have had babies for years without any issue," she groaned sadly, but I could see that it was more just her trying to process the loss of not being able to see flowing lava up close. She didn't actually mean to go. I knew that. She was just disappointed. But the question remained as to how we were going to convince Dad and Madden that we couldn't go.

"You could just say that you're not feeling well and stay home, and Dad, Madden and I could go on our own instead?" I suggested, but immediately regretted it when she glared at me, her arms crossed over her chest madly. ". . . or not,' I laughed. Well, there goes my chance at seeing a live volcano then. Damn my parents being in love, having sex and accidentally procreating.

"Alright, alright. Let's think about this," I said, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples, as if sheer determination of thought was going to make some other option miraculously pop into my head. Surprisingly, it kind of worked. "A-ha!" I exclaimed once I'd formed my plan.

"A-ha?" queried Sadie sarcastically, one of her eyebrows hitched significantly higher than the other as she surveyed me jumping up excitedly. "How old are you, kid?"

"Old enough to tell my father his wife is pregnant," I replied coolly without missing a beat. ". . . in 2 words at that. 'Sade's pregnant.' Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Her panic-stricken glare was enough for me to stop joking about it, though. "You know I wouldn't do that to you, Sade."

I could actually hear her exhaling with relief from the other side of the backyard where she was sitting in a lounge chair soaking up the sun of our latest Airbnb. "I'm sorry, Jetty. I'm just really anxious to tell him. What's your plan?"

My 'a-ha!' plan was to fake a leg injury and claim I couldn't walk around the National Park, meaning we'd have to stay home or do something that didn't involve a lot of walking. This genius plan was clearly riddled with plot holes, like, what will Dad say when I start walking normally again? And, what will he say when I strap up and paddle out for a surf because we all know that I'm going to? And, what about when I return home in a week and need to run out for a game and he asks how my foot/ankle/shin/knee/hamstring/quad got better all of a sudden? We figured it was easier to deal with that when it came to it, and instead just focussed our attention on convincing Dad to avoid the park altogether.

I told Sadie and Dad I was going out for a run the night before we had planned to go to the National Park, and when I came back limping dramatically half an hour later—clearly the most believable actor ever—I had to firstly try not to feel like an asshole watching Dad and Madden's disappointment; and secondly, not burst into laughter at watching Sadie try to suppress her fit of giggles while watching me.

"It doesn't look too bad, Jetty," said Dad, inspecting my fake-sprained ankle which he elevated on his leg to get a better look at, taking off my New Balances and rotating my foot to feigned winces and 'eesh,' 'ouch,' and 'ahh, fucking ow!' exclamations from me. "Damn, boy. These feet of yours are ripe," he teased.

Sadie, watching on with Madden in her arms actually burst out laughing, as did my little brother, who said, "I've been saying this all trip. Sharing a room with him for weeks has been the actual worst." To which I then grabbed my leg under the knee and dramatically waved my unsocked, post-run foot in his face. "You are disgusting, Jet."

"Love you too, baby bro," I grinned at him, watching Sadie cover her mouth like she was gagging. Right. Smell sensitivity. Maybe my feet are actually kind of gross at the moment, I chuckled.

"Are you sure you don't think you can walk, Jetty? I know how much you've been looking forward to going to the park. I'd feel bad if you had to miss out on it now we're so close," said Dad, always so perfectly considerate and caring.

"It really hurts, Dad. I honestly don't think I can," I lied, feeling like an asshole when he sighed sadly.

"Righto. We can find something else to do instead," said Dad, turning to Madden and Sadie beside me. "Sorry, babe. I don't want to force him to walk on it if it's hurting him. I know you were just as excited as he was." My dad is so damn sweet, and the best man I know.

"That's okay, Husband. Jetty's health is more important," she smiled at him sweetly, and silently said 'thank you' to me when Dad turned back to face me.

"Maybe we can see if there's a last minute helicopter ride or something available instead? That way we can all still see it, but from the comfort of a plane instead? I'll look up some prices later," he said, squeezing my knee affectionately. "I'll go grab you some ice, kiddo. Hold tight." Seriously. Best dude ever.

"Can I get you anything, Jetty?" offered Madden, my second best dude ever.

"I'm good, mate. Thank you, though," I said, and he returned to kicking his footy to himself on the lawn.

"I suppose I shouldn't now ask you to convince him not to spend more money on a bloody helicopter ride for all of us?" grinned Sadie, before leaning down, clutching my shoulders and kissing the top of my head.

"Do not push your luck, woman!"