Fixation

Chapter o019 Part Uno

"I am not a good man." He sighed. "I have done many horrible things, things that can and possible will change your views of me."

He gave me a quick side-glance then his vision returned to the floor, I had a feeling tonight would end in such an event... Between Sheridan and Arlo, I knew he would feel the need to confess his sins to me and I am not sure if I could handle it.

Some things are better left unsaid, but these dark things can also surface to the light... And, they have. You need to listen to your man, girl. I gulped then maneuvered by body so that I was facing him more, engaging him to continue on what he was saying.

"We have all done things that we are not proud of, Reuben... We're human." I tried to assure him, but he just shook his head. "Baby..."

He threw me a look with pleading eyes, as if he wanted me to be quiet so he could continue. I did what he mentally asked of me and closed my mouth. He hesitated; his whole mood read was defeat... What the hell, he looked like he has been waring with himself all night about this. Possibly have, but what made tonight the night to do this. We should be celebrating our engagement, discussing our futures together, hell... Anything but this.

"Maia, honey... I am..." He stopped once more, now I was growing impatient with him.

"What? What is it, Baby... Whatever it is, we can work through it." I said with a shrug.

"I am the Devil." He responded emotionlessly, he looked up then directly into my eyes. My breath hitched and my heart began to race.

Maia. Girl, run.

My back arched as my knees rose from the comfort of the water; shit, I was indeed about to run.

"Please," He quickly gazes back to me with concern in his eyes. "Don't look at me in that fashion."

"You can't just say you are 'the devil', Reuben, and then expect me to react normally." I sigh as my body straightens but I still keep my gaze on him. "What do you mean, anyways, Babe?"

He remained in his stance.

"I am a sick fuck who loves to punish women for my own enjoyment." He concluded.

"You 'love to punish women'?" I quoted with my eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "W-what does that mean? You abuse women?"

He sighed as he turned in the bench, facing me directly but reaching to grab a large towel.

"Let's not discuss this in here, let's go back into the master suite--"

"No, Reuben, I need you to answer my question. Do you get enjoyment from abusing women?"

He sighed once more as he helped me stand to my feet, lifted me from the waters from the tub, and planted me softly before him. A usual Reuben move would be to lick every drop of water from my skin, a bit of foreplay before we headed to the bed and him ravish me unto an oblivion. However, he just gently wrapped the towel around me then grabbed a silk robe and slipped over my shoulders. He was very intricate with his movements, as if he was trying to handle me with care. I must admit, after his discovery of my past happenings, i.e. Greg, Reuben has been more protective than usual... And I appreciated it, but right now... I knew he had the world and a mountain on his brain.

"Reuben?"

"No, I don't abuse women, Honey." He finally responded. "A good dominant does not abuse, he controls."

"Then why did you refer to yourself as a 'sick fuck'? I am confused and riddled, right now." I stopped and shook my head then slipped on my spa slippers.

"The things I like to bestow upon my submissives sometimes can deem me a sick fuck."

Now, I was even more confused.