19: Relapse

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It's been a blast watching Mark have fun. It sounds strange, but it has been. He's set to come home in three or four days, and the approach has made me kind of reflect on how it's been with him being on the road for so long.

He has so much fun with his job, but it's so rare to see him be able to creatively do whatever he wants, without the worries of what the viewers or commenters will think. He's been working for so long on this project, keeping most of it under wraps until he had enough to work with, and it just seems like he's having a blast on tour with all of his friends. He calls me almost every night before or after a show (sometimes both), sends me clips and photos of their rehearsal days or them just messing around, and texts me the occasional voice memo of him singing while they're driving to the next location. Even though I'm at home sick, it's been really comforting to know that Mark is doing what he loves and bringing it to real people in real time.

What's not really comforting is the fact that I haven't gotten up off the couch in the last 48 more than maybe three times. 

I am not the type of person to fall asleep on the couch, but it's been my bed for the last two weeks. Standing up feels almost like too much work, and I get dizzy no matter how slowly I try to get up. And because it's so hard to get up, it's become really easy to just lie down and sleep. I've been trying to sleep off this fatigue that's settled over me, but my tiredness doesn't seem to change whether I sleep for two hours or twelve. It's also slightly worrying that I haven't eaten in more than 24 hours, either. I've had some water (to make sure I don't die), but the scary part is that I know my stomach is completely empty, but I don't have an appetite for anything at all. The thought of eating makes my stomach turn a little bit. I thought I had gotten over the cold or flu that I had awhile ago, but I guess not.

Ring, ring!

The sound of my phone ringing jolted me from my thoughts, and I answered it and put it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hello, good afternoon, I'm calling for a Ms. (Y/N) to confirm your doctor's appointment for tomorrow at 9 am." 

"Yes, ma'am, I'll be there," I promised. We set up a few extra details and then I hung up the phone. A huge sigh left my body before I could stop it, and I tossed my phone at my feet before leaning back into the couch. I looked up at the ceiling, and then over at my TV where the time was displayed. 

"4 pm. What am I going to do for the rest of the day?" I wondered. "I probably should eat, but..." I scrunched up my nose at the thought.

"But I don't wanna," I whined aloud to no one in particular, and as if he knew I was being a baby, my phone lit up with Mark's caller ID.

"Hey Mark," I said, putting the phone on speaker again and lying back on the couch.

"Hey, love, how are you?" His voice instantly warmed me, and I smiled.

"I'm okay," I said. "I was just about to decide to not eat, but then you called, so I think it's fate. Now I have to eat." 

"Good!" Mark shouted through the phone, "You haven't been eating enough anyway!" 

"I have," I said, absolutely lying. "I just don't have much of an appetite, it's not my fault." On the other end, Mark's voice softened. 

"I know. Just eat a little something, okay? It doesn't have to be a whole lot." 

"Just for you," I said, and Mark cheered.

"Excellent. Well, I hate to cut this short but we're due on stage in 10, I have to go run some things down with Ethan. I'll talk to you after the show?" He asked.

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