Nick & Bailey

20. Nick

Nick doesn't know why he said say it. He heard the words, and it was like he was hearing someone else speaking. But when he sees the look in Bailey's eyes, he knew it must have been him. The look is somehow joyful and sad at the same time.

"I wish you could, too."

Nick has no idea what's come over him tonight. First, he ditched a party to watch movies with a girl who he's borderline obsessed with but can never have. Why does he always choose the most painful option?

Then, he proceeded to tell her all about his love life—or lack there of. He supposes that could possibly be explained by the natural high he's still on from getting accepted to his top choice school.

But he still doesn't know how he's going to manage that. Even with financial aid and student loans, he'll still need to pay some out of pocket. He'll need to get a second job. The restaurant just doesn't have enough hours available.

It's hard to think about anything right now as Bailey's leg is touching his and her thumb is running along his cheek. The words she said about his character made his heart stop beating. He never knew she had that opinion of him. But she has an ability to get him to show his true self, not the version that he puts on for everyone else, so maybe she is right.

No. That's not true. She is blinded by whatever this is between them...lust, or fascination, or curiosity, or whatever the hell it is. But he isn't the leading man here. He can't be.

Bailey breaks the silence with a sigh. She shifts her body, so they are side by side, and rests her head on his shoulder. Nick does the most natural thing in the world and wraps his arm around her, pulling her closer.

"What are we going to do, Nick?" She is looking ahead at the paused television, so he can't see her face. He can hear the worry in her voice, though.

That was the question, wasn't it? Every time Nick is near her, he has to consciously stop himself from touching her. Every instinct is telling him to pull her to him and never let go. Being here with her now is both the happiest and most sad situation he can imagine.

"I don't know," he answers truthfully. "I guess we could just try being...friends?"

She chuckles, unenthusiastically, "Friends? We've never been friends."

That wasn't exactly true. They were friends before Nick realized his feelings for her.

"Let's try something new, then," Nick offers.

"Ok then. Friends." She lifts her head to look at him and puts her hand out.

He takes it, and they have an awkward handshake.

He can do this...he can. All he has to do is make sure the two of them are never alone. If other people are around, it's much easier to keep his distance.

"Well, buddy, you wanna finish the movie?" She asks, smiling. She is always able to do this. She takes an uncomfortable or heavy situation and somehow makes it light again.

"Sure, partner," he jokes.

She sits up to grab the remote, and Nick is grateful when she returns to her spot in his arms, although he doesn't think this is how most "friends" watch movies together.

Nick is relaxed and content sitting here with her head on his shoulder. This must be what God intended shoulders for, because he cannot think of a better use than to have a place for Bailey to rest.

He jumps awake when his head tilts backwards on the couch. He hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep. Bailey jumps too. She must have been sleeping also, before his movements woke her. The title page on the DVD is playing on repeat. He wonders how long they've been out for.