Bulletproof (a superflash story)

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Alex enters and tears are falling down her face but it looks happy, and she, she looks so bloody happy, likes she's on top of the world.
"Kara I did it, I asked Maggie to marry me and she said yes!" Alex says and I smile as in how could I cover it, my sister just got engaged to one of the nicest people I know, a great cop who is good to Alex and I've learnt so much stuff from her.
"Alex that's.. that's amazing you didn't lose her, Alex keep her forever" I say and I run over to Alex because this is the biggest moment of her life.
"Thanks kara" she says and we hug for a very long time,
"So when's the wedding, what will i need to where, what will your dress look like, maybe I will  go with ..." I say so excited and kind of looking for a distraction and then I realise how I ended my sentence and my feelings all catch up
"Oh kara I'm so sorry, please don't be upset, I hate when your sad, I don't want you to be like this, this isn't what I wanted for you, you can go with me, my best woman! And you can come with Winn, James, Jonn the whole family, maybe even Barry, Caitlin, Cisco and whoever else we feel like inviting, so you feel accepting and know you actually are" Alex says and I find myself crying harder, out of all the people I could have ended up with, I got the worlds most amazing, understanding, loving sister. I can tells Alex loves me and this day will be the most important thing for her, she will be happy, Maggie is perfect for her and Alex is perfect is Maggie. They belong together, nothing, not me, not work, not travelling the multiverse, not changing the timeline will ever change that, nothing will. "Thank you Alex, I love you so much and I am truly happy for you"  I say meaning each and every word, one of the most important things to me is Alex's happiness, is she can be happy, we can be happy together in a perfect life. But that's not true, it can never be, I lost my true love, I lost mon-el, my true love, I admit it, and I miss, it's been around 2 weeks since he's gone. I think about him and it makes me question my happiness, and makes me ask the question once again: why do we fall in love if it leads to pain, regret and what I would describe as a feeling I'd want and desire and when it leave makes you desperate and lost? It seems like a good idea with a promise of happiness, this feeling of being wanted and trusted, it's just love, there is no way to describe it, it's just the best feeling in the world, it feels like your on top of the world and that's what I want Alex to feel. "Kara I love you too..." she says and suddenly both our phones go off. It's jonn, ringing us, "hey jonn, Okay we are on our way" Alex says looking at me and smiling.