My Dad

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For Liz.

My God-Mother.

I miss you so much.

X

My dad as cancer.

We have known for a while now, he's had it for a year. It's almost part of everyday life. Like someone you know really well, you've known for ages. But you could do without, you don't need them. You don't want them.

My dad is dying.

He has been for over a year now. And I still can't get over the shock of it. The amount of times that we have been in and out of the hospital to get him treatment. It's like my second home - and not in a good way.

My dad is the only person I have left.

My mum died shortly after my 5th birthday. Breast cancer. Dad has skin cancer. It's ironic if you think about it, we like in Scotland so the sun is very hard to find in our rainy little town and he has never even seen a sun bed. I don't think he knows what they are. I am an only child - Daddy's little Princess, that's me.

My dad is the most important person to me.

He is strong, 35 years old, not a single hair of grey. That's not that much though, he has no hair at all. The treatment has taken its toll on my dad yet he never fails to smile at me, his 18 year old little baby. His brilliant white teeth and strong jaw, together with almond eyes the colour of rainy skies and prominent cheek bones make him a very handsome man but he says no to all advances. He doesn't need anyone else.

My dad worries too much.

With my mum and dad both having cancer, I am very high risk. Dad says I'm too pretty to die. I smile and blush. Bright blue eyes which get darker around the pupils, just like my dad's dad, with plump lips and curly blonde hair and high cheek bones do give me a nice face but I have non-existent breast, a plump bum and rather plumper belly. Not the most attractive.

My dad says it's what's on the inside that counts.

I'm really going to miss him.

Well, this is something that has been on my mind for ages. And it's really important to me. My dad hasn't got cancer but my God-Mother did....

Can't help but think what could have been.

xxxxxxxxx

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