Short Stories

Monologue

*Disclaimer - everything said in the work is purely the authors (mine) opinion. I did not mean to offend anyone and I hope that you can enjoy this work despite any conflict it may raise.

Religion.

I’ll admit that I am jealous of people who believe in some type of God or religion. They seem to have this belief that everything they do is for a reason and that at the end of everything, they will get some type of reward. They always do things in their life with a meaning, because they think that they are going to be judged for what acts they perform, how to behave with people and it’s something I will never understand. The closest I’ve even manage to get to religion is shouting it down as a load of bull.

I’ve been on this earth for 28 years, I’ve had to do everything off my own batt, not rely on family and friends and defiantly not on some God. I’ve worked my butt off to get my job and work my way up through the chain of promotions and ass sucking and I can finally say that I’ve made something of my life. No one can say that I haven’t done anything for myself. Why on earth would I say that my accomplishments weren’t by me? Why would I give God credit for them?

I have tried going to church, when I was younger with my grandmother, but found the experience boring. Even in Sunday school, when all the other children were being drawn in with the colouring books, the cartoons and the idea of life after death, I thought none of it made any sense and that it was some made up story, much like Santa or the Tooth Fairy.

The idea of depending on an unseen deity seems completely absurd to me. God does nothing for anyone. Only the believers think that a job promotion or the child they were finally able to have was caused by some influence from some higher entity. I will admit that I have played around with the idea of Karma. It makes sense, I guess, that if you do something bad to someone then life comes back to bite you in the ass and something bad will happen to you. I’m still trying to work my head around it though, ‘cause I know some people who are constantly nice, constantly helping others and never seem to get a break. I guess the same could be said with God. How come this omnipresent, omnipotent being doesn’t help the people who are actually good and lets bad people off? What about the people who murder in God’s name?

I don't understand! I really wish I did but I’ve gotten nowhere when I talk about God to friends and family. I took philosophy in High School and if I’m honest, it just made me hate religion and God. To me, God and religion are nothing but security blankets, something to blame everything on if something goes wrong and something to thank when something goes right, because obviously getting good grades in exams has nothing to do with hard work an individual put in or anything. (Sarcasm)

I’ve actually read a part of the bible. And it just seemed like fairy tales and the prince would come at the end, kiss the princesses and ride away into the sunset. It just seemed like someone had a little too much to drink and written down a load of rubbish.

 My grandmother lives by Christian values but doesn’t actually believe in God. She goes to church regularly, has a degree in theology and is my most common debate partner about religion. We have tried to work out the way that certain Christian and Jewish groups have interpreted the Bible. The ‘crazies’ who take everything literally, and believe that if a person puts a toe out of line they have to be murdered in some brutal way, and the Jews who have chosen to not eat certain types of meat and must abide by certain rules while in their house of prayer – the synagogue. Does it actually say anywhere in the Bible that these things are meant to take place? Obviously I would understand if I had been brought up with religion but I haven’t so the idea of following these rules, ones that are not practiced by the majority of people and ones that are not around me constantly every day, seems very alien and actually insane to me! My gran, despite not believe in God, does believe that living by the Christian values makes sense and is worth putting some effort into. Values, like not lying, helping people, sharing, being kind, The ten commandments actually make sense it’s just because there are people like me, atheists, and these ‘rules’ are written in the religious text we atheists write them off as being stupid and something that is not worth our time. I know that I have thought about the Commandments and automatically thought they were a load of shit. Why would I want to do what the Bible told me?

Sorry, every time I get onto this subject, I get so ranty! I just wish I understood! What about the whole homophobic problem? Does it not say in the Bible to love thy neighbour and yet people hate people for being gay! If God truly did make us, create us as his children to all be loved equally – and not even get me started on that, the Jews are meant to be made more ‘special’ or something and then the fanatics are of course more loved – then surely he chose if someone was gay, he chose who we are to love. Ah! You hear about all the stuff going on in American with gay marriage becoming legal and all the protests from crazies. I suppose the same thing with racism. Of course Caucasians are more – holy that any other race. Blacks, no matter where they are from, are evil and need to be made into slaves, murdered and – I don’t understand. I personally believe that religion is one of the biggest causes of arguments and even war. I’m not sure if it’s true but with the way that humans get to have their own opinions, of course we are going to disagree with things but, surely you know what I mean when I say that if God did exist, he would not allow us to kill each other in the ways that seem to happen?

I don't understand. Yes, I’m jealous of the way the Christians seem to have a sense of community and purpose that Atheists will never understand but I’m glad that I am not some fanatic. I believe in something, and that is just friendship and loyalty. I am happy with what I am doing with my life. I may not be part of the ‘chosen people’ but I’ve set out on my own path and I am proud to be the one to blame for my mistakes.