Just roommates | Chandler Bing

The one where Monica gets a new roommate:

It was about an hour later when we were all gathered in Monica's apartment watching some Spanish soap drama. Rachel was in the kitchen talking to her dad but we were too interested on the TV to eavesdrop.

"Now I am going to guess that he brought her the big pipe organ, and she is really not happy about it." Monica said trying to guess what was happening on the TV.

"But daddy..." We heard Rachel say talking on the phone to her father, " I just I can't marry him! I am sorry. I just don't love him. Well it matters to me!"

"Oooh, she should not be wearing those pants" Chandler exclaimed making us all divert our attention back to the TV.

"I say push her down the stairs" Joey inputted, I nodded in agreement.

"Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs..." Me, Joey, Ross and Chandler chant " YESSSS she got pushed." We all cheered.

"C'mon Daddy listen to me!" Rachel exclaimed making us all look at her again. " all my life, everybody has always told me , you're a shoe! You are a shoe, a shoe! And today I just stopped and said, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse or a hat y'know? No Daddy I do not want you to buy me a hat, I am saying I am a ha- What no it's a metaphor Daddy!" Rachel huffed out. By this point I had jumped up so I was sitting on the back of the sofa facing Rachel.

"You can see where he'd have trouble" Ross said earning a glare off me.

"Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I will just stay here with Charlotte"

"Well I guess we have established who is staying here with Charlotte" I said with a huff.

"Wait hold up, you live with us though, where will she sleep?" Chandler questioned.

"That's very true, hey " I started.

"Yes it's fine she can stay with me, I need the company . "Monica cut in.

"Well maybe that's my decision." Rachel huffed out making us all look at her again ."Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!!! Wait , I said maybe!!" Rachel said panicked.

"Oh honey, lets get you sat down" I said walking over to her and placing her on the sofa.

"Just breathe , breathe ... that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things. " Me and Monica instructed. As we were sat either side of her.

"Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens ." Phoebe starts singing, and we all turn to look at her, " bluebells and sleigh bells and - something with mittens... la la la .."

" I'm all better know " Rachel said.

"Yay I helped!" Phoebe said walking over to the boys in the kitchen.

"Okay look this is probably for the best, y'know? independence. Taking control of your life." I said trying to make her feel better.

"And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall and he's away a lot ."Joey hinted.

"Ignore him Rach" I said hitting him on the back of the head. " I also live with these two dipsticks across the hall so if you ever need anything don't hesitate to come over straight away."

"Wait why do you live with the boys?" Rachel asked.

"Oh it's kind of a long story-" I started.

"Her and Joey used to date!" Ross spat out.

"Yes okay we don't need to talk about that mistake, no offence Joe" I said towards Rachel.

"Well wait -" Joey started out but got cute of by the door buzzer.

"Please don't do that again, its a horrible sound." Chandler said getting up and walking towards the door.

"Uh its Paul" the intercom spoke out.

"Buzz him in!" Monica shouted to Chandler.

"Who's Paul?" Joey asked.

"Wait Paul the wine guy?" Me and Ross questioned.

"Hold up your 'not real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?" Joey asked.

"He actually got the guts to ask you out!" I exclaimed.

"YESSSS!" Monica said excited.

"Oooh this is a dear diary moment" Chandler sarcastically remarked.

"Oh god wait Rachel I can cancel..." Monica started.

"Oh no don't worry I've got Charlotte to keep me company."  Rachel said cheerfully.

"Oh are you alright then Ross , do you want me to stay?"

"That would be good" Ross chocked out.

"Really!" Me and Monica exclaimed.

"No I'm kidding, I mean it Paul the wine guy!" Ross joked. I just hit him on the shoulder. A knock on the door echoed through the apartment and we all jumped up to stand in a line by the door.

"Oh hey come in! Paul this is.." she stopped startled at the look of us all " urm everybody, this is Paul"

"Hey ! Paul ! Hi ! The wine guy ! Hey!" We all chorused.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name Paul was it." Chandler sarcastically commented.

"Right I will be two seconds" Monica said and rushed off to get a jacket.

I stood eyeing Paul up and down before walking towards him. "So 'Paul'" I said mocking him.

"Oh this is going to get good" Chandler said standing behind me.

"You and my sister then, your a thing?" I questioned.

"Ur yeh -" Paul started.

"It was a rhetorical question" I sassed back. "Now she is my twin and if you hurt her I will destroy you" I said lowly pulling him closer to me by the coat.

"Alrighty steady on you little aggressive puppy" Chandler said dragging me backwards by my hoodie.

"Alright bye guy" Monica said grabbing Pauls arm and leaving.

"So Rachel, what are you, up to tonight?" Ross questioned.

"Well I was supposed to be heading to Aruba for my honeymoon , so nothing." she replied.

"Right, you're not even getting to go on your honeymoon, god ... No , no although , Aruba , this time of the year, urm big lizards." Ross said trying to make Rachel feel better. "Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help put together my new furniture." Ross said.

"Yes we are so very excited about it" Chandler deadpanned, as I rubbed his arm.

"Well thanks but I think I will just hang here for tonight." Rachel said.

"Hey Pheebs, Charlie, you wanna help?" Joey asked.

"Oh, I wish I could but I don't want to" Phoebe sassed back.

"Well what about you charlotte?" Ross questioned hopefully.

"Well as much as I would love to spend my evening stuck with tweedle dum, tweedle dee and my older brother I think I will hang out with Rachel tonight." I said sarcastically smiling at them all.