4.1

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•- Austin Wood -•

I'd been contemplating my departure since Lainey fell asleep. Usually I'd never second guess whether I should leave my latest endeavor, but holding Laine in my arms was something I'd never be able to let go of.

She slept soundly with her body entwined with my own. Her breathing was slow and calm, and ruining that would have been such a bitchy thing to do.

I slowly try to move my body from her's but she stirs awake. She smiles up at me as she rests her head on my chest. "You heading out?" She whispers, her voice shying no less than angelic.

"Thinking about it," I reply as I run my fingers through her hair.

She hums gently as her lips press against my chest innocently, "I'll walk you out," she smiles, opening her welcoming eyes as I stare down at her.

"I know my way out. You should get some rest," I whisper, trying to some how soothe her back to sleep.

She sits up and wraps the sheet around her nude body. I'd almost forgotten our activities prior to my decision leave, but she was so kindly reminding me.

"Too bad, I'm up already," she yawns as she runs a hand through her hair to sort the mess.

I give in, because sneaking out on her was something I'd never want to have to do. Something that can never happen, because this, can never happen. Sleeping with her once was something I could handle. It was a deal made to help my block. But this was free will. This was desire gone to a whole new level.

With Hannah, it was intoxication, blackmail, pure lack of self awareness. But with Lainey, it lacked self control. Being around her was infectious. A day gone wrong could turn into endless smiles and laughter.

She wasn't heartless, she was selfless. That alone differentiated her and all the other women I'd been sexually involved with on more than one occasion, and even then twice was breaking point. But as I pull my jeans over my thighs, the need to be in this exact position with her was a burning flame that could never be extinguished.

I turn to face her just as the sheet drops. I find myself admiring her porcelain body for the mere seconds I had to memorize it like it were my life's mission to know ever inch of her flesh.

Lainey pulls her hair from under the loose shirt she'd thrown over her body and I couldn't imagine spending my night anywhere else.

It was wrong of me to come here. Wrong of me to taint her body with my toxicity. But instead of the wrong I wanted to feel, it felt right. And it made it worse.

In one swift motion, she was facing me with a tired smile on her lips that just moments ago had been on my own.

"I thought you were leaving?" She says, a humored smile crossing her face.

I chuckle deeply as I turn to my lap where my shirt lay untouched since the moment I grabbed it off the floor.

"You're a very admirable woman when undressed, Lainey Bennett," I reply, lifting the fabric over my body that once housed the feeling of her hands roaming.

"Not too bad yourself," she giggles, her voice the sound of a beautiful symphony.

I smirk up at her I push off her bed. I reach for my coat just as she unlocks her bedroom door. It was becoming a fading memory. Tonight's events with my family had lead me here. To the woman I found comfort in despite how terrible of a man I've been. She looked past all the cruel and uncivilized things I've done in my haunting past and she saw someone in me I never knew existed. The kind of man who could stand up to a tormenting woman who brought pain and suffering for countless months.

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