The Bad Boy Computer Programmer At Wattpad

EXPLAIN IT ONE MORE TIME

"Would you be able to help me?" Delta asked. "I'm having problems with video chat."

Standing up before scooting his chair back, Mouth slammed his body into the underside of his desk, knocking a container of pens and pencils on the floor. Ian and Sloth redirected their attentions from computer monitors to Mouth just in time to witness the unfolding debacle.

Rubbing his hip while appearing to suppress the sounds of pain, Mouth stuttered, "Um--yeah. What did you--uhh? Yeah."

Delta bent down to help Mouth gather his things off the floor. "I really appreciate it," she said.

"No problemo," Mouth replied as he tossed the last few writing utensils in his pencil holder. Without taking his eyes off Delta, he set the pencil holder back on his desk.

Delta opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. She watched in stunned silence as the container of pens and pencils missed the desktop and hit the floor once more.

"Jesus Christ," Sloth mumbled from behind his monitor.

Sweeping the utensils under his desk with the side of his foot, Mouth said, "I can look at your computer now if you want."

Delta nodded with a smile and turned in the direction of her work area. Mouth followed like Dopey, Snow White's dwarf, as they walked out of view.

Ian tapped the keys on his keyboard for a couple minutes before turning to face Sloth. "Hey," he began. The remainder of Ian's sentence disappeared into the blackhole of nothingness the moment he saw moisture welling up at the base of his coworker's eyes--Sloth's attention glued to his screen. Ian froze like a statue, his mouth gaped open.

After a brief moment of silence, Sloth glanced up towards Ian. "Fuck you."

Shoulders rising towards his ears with upward palms on each side of his face, Ian gave Sloth a whatthefuckdidIdo look.

Sloth cleared his throat and ran the top of his hand under his nose. With arms tightly gripped across his chest, Sloth's eyes softened as he continued to read whatever was on his screen.

"What are you reading?" Ian asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sloth didn't respond immediately. He continued to read until it appeared as though he reached a stopping point. From there, he turned towards Ian and stared at his coworker for an extended and uncomfortable period of time. Side glancing his monitor, he eventually mumbled, "The Vampire Who Shits Himself."

"Excuse me?" Ian asked.

Motioning towards his monitor with both hands as though he were a gameshow hostess highlighting a special prize, Sloth said, "The shitting vampire. Who would've thought this story would be so--emotionally gripping--and spiritually enlightening?"

Ian couldn't tell if Sloth was genuine or pulling his leg. "Are you being serious?"

Sloth turned his monitor around so it faced Ian. The story of The Vampire Who Shits Himself filled the screen. "I'm not shitting you. Have you read this?"

Ian scooted over to Sloth's desk. As Ian propelled his wheeled chair across the room, Sloth gave him a brief summary of the story to set the scene. Both men fell silent as they sat shoulder-to-shoulder and read the words on the screen.

**Ian--Eleven minutes and twelve seconds later**

The two coworkers were glassy-eyed and frozen, mesmerized by the contents on the monitor. Ian's shoulder was pressed firmly against Sloth's as they unconsciously fought for prime positioning to read every captivating word.

"Wow," Ian whispered. "Just--wow."

"I know, right?" Sloth replied, grabbing a stapler to squeeze in his palm. "That blood transfusion--with the Atari and Buddhist monk?"

Ian shook his head, then drawled, "Brutal." Sniffing liquified emotions up in his nostrils, he pointed at the screen. "Or the Girl Scout cookie crumbs in the jock strap?"

Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, Sloth whispered, "Don't even get me started on the scene where the tampon was tied to the end of the wooden stake."

"Brilliant storytelling," Ian whispered, resting his chin on praying hands.

Sloth squeezed the stapler repeatedly, a pile of staples collecting on his desk. "My entire perception of life has been changed by this--shitter."

The sound of someone clearing his throat snapped Ian and Sloth out of their daze. They looked up to find Mouth staring at them with a curled lip and furrowed brows. "What the hell is wrong with you two?" the sandaled friend asked.

Ian and Sloth discretely wiped away any traces of eye and nose moisture as they repeatedly cleared their throats until their voices returned to their normal tones.

Ian scooted across the room back to his desk.

Sloth crumpled up a piece of paper and tossed it towards a waste basket. He missed.

When all seemed settled and back to normal, Mouth looked at Ian and grinned. "Guess who I just saw?"

Ian shrugged his shoulders, refusing to look at Mouth since he was still reigning in the emotional impact of the shitting vampire. "Who?"

"Yoda," Mouth replied.

A jolt shot through Ian's solar plexus, triggering a whole new series of emotions. He snapped his head towards Mouth and said, "What?"

Mouth smirked. "Delta's interviewing her now." Nodding in the direction of Delta's work area, he added, "You should go check it out."