The Bad Boy Computer Programmer At Wattpad

STARBUCKS (Part 2)

**Amanda**

Amanda watched in embarrassed horror as the maple pecan rolled across the floor leaving a trail of crumbs in its wake. Her laptop hung over the table's edge, dangerously close to teetering into Muffin Man's lap. Holding the poo book in one hand and a drink in the other, Muffin Man glanced from the laptop to his muffin to Amanda.

"I'm soooo sorry." Amanda stood up on her tiptoes to get a better look at the fallen baked good. "A maple pecan?" she asked the man.

His head nodded, but the rest of his body remained completely still. Amanda thought he might be freezing like a statue because the Hewlett-Packard dangled over the edge of the table like a professional wrestler ready to body slam his genitals. She wanted to reach across and reposition the laptop to a more dick-friendly location, but she was afraid the smallest bump might send Rowdy Roddy Packard leaping off the ropes with a hard corner to the groin. Maybe he's frozen because of low blood sugar levels due to a half-eaten meal, Amanda thought, concluding some sort of medical or biological petrification would be better than bruised balls. Or maybe he just discovered his poo is telling him something awful?

Amanda hesitated to speak. With her computer dangerously close to assaulting the man's lap, an invisible wall of awkwardness separated the two strangers, hindering graceful communication. Amanda pointed to her laptop. "Would you mind watching that while I go--." Pointing towards the display case where the pastries were kept, she added "While I get you another--?" Amanda waited half a second for the man to answer before she answered for him. "Yes?" Amanda nodded for the confused poop-reader, then whispered, "Okay." Turning on her heel, she bounced on her tiptoes towards the line where people waited to order food and drinks.

This is why you need to say 'no' to online stalking, Amanda scolded inwardly. Stalking is creepy and--dangerous to others. Mentally stable people aren't stalkers--or creepy. How are you even going to give Poop Man his new muffin without--freaking him the fuck out? She cut her inner lecture short when a random need to sing the Muffin Man nursery rhyme consumed her head.

(sings)
Do you know,
the muffin man,
the muffin man,
the muffin man?
Do you know,
the muffin man,
who lives on Muh-ruh-ree Lane?

"What can I get for you today?" a voice asked.

Amanda continued to ponder what lane Muffin Man lived on. Mulberry Lane? Brewery Lane? Lois Lane?

"Mam?"

Amanda's head snapped towards the Starbucks clerk. "Sorry!"

A young Starbuckian in her late teens or early twenties smiled. "What can I get you?"

"I need a maple pecan muffin and--." Amanda stared at the menu like a muggle trying to locate platform 9 3/4 at Kings Cross Station. "A Grande lime refresher? Is that what they're called?"

"Uh--." The clerk scanned the buttons on the register then seemed to search for a particular employee working behind the counter. "It's my first week. Let me ask if we have that."

The Starbuckian waved her manager over and asked if lime refreshers were on the menu. The Starbuckian leader shook her head. "Sorry. We're not carrying the Cool Lime Refresher at the moment. We have other refresher flavors, though."

Amanda flipped her upper lip towards her nose. "No. I'm actually looking for something with lots of caffeine in it--."

The Starbuckian leader, also known as Velma, asked, "Have you tried one of our brand-new designer lattes?"