The Bad Boy Computer Programmer At Wattpad

REPORTING A GLITCH

**Amanda--after Wattdrunk Friday with the ladies**

"Is someone playing games with me?" Amanda whispered to herself as she stared drunk'ingly into the hypnotic light of the laptop screen. With a few clicks, she returned to the create-a-story section of Wattpad to check on her snake and caterpillar book. It was still flagged as mature content.

"Maybe I can fix this." Interlocking her fingers and stretching them as though embarking on a plan to hack into US Government computers, Amanda closed the browser window--waited a few seconds--then opened the browser again. She typed Wattpad's URL in the address bar and crossed her fingers. Mission unaccomplished. Her story was still flagged mature.

Next, Amanda logged out of her Wattpad account then logged back in. When she checked the status of her story, she exhaled a frustrated sigh. Still flagged mature.

Amanda tried shutting down her computer and restarting it. Didn't work. Still flagged mature.

She picked up the empty wine bottle and hit the side of the laptop a couple times. Logged off Wattpad. Shut down her computer. Unplugged the laptop from the electrical outlet. Plugged it back into the electrical outlet. Restarted her computer. Logged back into Wattpad. Hit the side of her laptop a couple more times with the empty wine bottle, then checked to see if her story had been fixed. Still flagged mature.

"Damn it! Think, Amanda, think!" She pushed herself away from the table and headed straight for her cupboard of alcohol. Pulling a bottle of tequila from the shelf, she poured a generous helping of the yellow poison in a glass and tipped it back into her mouth--then almost threw it up.

Amanda bounced around the kitchen with her hand over her lips trying to force the tequila down her spasming throat--an un'orgasm happening at the back of her mouth. After a couple dramatic episodes of gag reflexes and contracting her neck muscles so hard her head nearly disappeared between her shoulders, Amanda successfully violated the boundaries of her body's safety mechanism. A considerable amount of tequila had officially entered her bloodstream.

Wiping the remaining moisture from her lips with the back of her hand, Amanda gasped and said, "Be logical, Amanda! Send the damn ticket. You need to rule out a glitch with Wattpad before you start developing conspiracy theories of sabotage."

She sat back down at her computer. With an attention span about the size of a preschooler's, Amanda struggled to find the link she needed to request technical assistance for her Wattpad account. After several minutes and many sentences of curse words strung creatively together, Amanda finally found the link she was searching for.

Click

She took a deep breath to call forth the focus needed to concentrate on the questions now in front of her. Or--at least that was her intention.

The first field on the form--[Enter Instructions Here]--was multiple-choice. Simple. Hovering the cursor over her choices, Amanda whispered, "Definitely that one. A buggy-wuggy."

[[Enter Instructions Here] Something's not working (Report a bug)]

Despite not being multiple-choice, the second question was just as easy and straight forward as the first. Even the tequila had no problem coming up with the correct answer.

[[Your email address] YodaBestR2D2@FreeMail.com]

The third question, however, required some thought. Amanda stared at the ceiling for a moment searching for the perfect words. Deciding on what to write in the subject line was like picking a title for a story--it had to be informative, sassy and memorable. When an idea struck her, she typed it in.