10.27.2021 | 3 pm | 17 years old
dear diary,
i feel terrible. two boys just came to my locker in the morning to ask me out. i thought they were asking for nads' number, so i wrote it down for them, but they told me they were interested in me instead. who in the right mind would be interested in such a stupid, lovesick girl like me? i was so shocked and confused at first that i didn't reply them for a few minutes as i stared at them dumbly.
in the end, i rejected them. of course i would reject them. no boy would accept a girl whose heart has already been pledged to another boy. nads says that i'm the dumbest girl she has ever met.
i feel exhasusted. i'm tired of putting in so much effort and receiving nothing. i wake up at seven just to dress up nicely for him, but he doesn't even bat an eyelid. i'm so sick of wearing those dresses and pretending that i love them. they make me feel like the world biggest hoe.
nads says that i should try something different - make him jealous by hanging out with one of the guys who talked to me today. it's funny, why would he be jealous when he sees me with other guys?
trying to impress johnny isn't working, and i'm dreading to take it any further. i'm writing now so that i wouldn't have to face my phone. i can't believe i'm willingly calling one of the boys from this morning now (they left their numbers).
johnny, would you even be jealous?
mackenzie
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my stories are way too fking emotional
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