sus ✧ multi

ONE HUNDRED & FIFTY

i was going to put this in outtakes & add it to the lineup of shit i need to put in outtakes, but i haven't written a rl chapter in this book in a long ass time lmao so here y'all go. issa sex scene. idk if y'all want this bc idk if y'all care for this ship but i saw some people wanting a scene for them so.... here we go merry christmas

jArAd

must be nice to spend time with your family on the holidays.

while all of my other friends were at christmas eve parties, having dinner with their families, or just hanging out with the person they loved, i was just sitting in the living room alone as the jackson 5's christmas album blasted from the house next door to me.

most of my family were still in chicago, and none of them called or even texted me to wish me happy holidays. not even my dad did.

it was like this on my birthday too. only got 2 birthday wishes from my family members, and those were my grandparents.

december was supposed to be the happiest month for me, but instead, all it did was remind me of why i was so sad all of the time. why wouldn't you be sad if nobody seemed to give a fuck about you even on the days where they were supposed to?

not even my mama gave a fuck about me. she was too busy running around with some nigga she met at work. and i get it, she figured since i'm basically grown, i don't need to be up under her all the time, and she's right, but i still felt lonely inside.

i mean, i could have hung out with michael today, since he did tell me that i was welcome to come over, but i decided not to. i felt awkward around his family, even though he's told me several times that they like me and they don't think i'm annoying or anything, i still thought it would be weird of me to just intrude on his time with his family like that.

so here i was, alone on christmas eve, while my mother was away in tampa because her man took her on a surprise vacation, and michael was with his family.

there was no sense in moping around and being sad over the fact that i was lonely all day, because it was something that i had to deal with all the time. so i got over it, grabbed a cup of egg nog from the fridge, and spent the rest of my night watching charlie brown specials until i got tired.

i went upstairs to my bedroom at around 11, texted michael a little bit before going to bed, and then i drifted off to sleep. maybe tomorrow i'd be less sad.

-

must be nice to be able to sleep through the night.

i woke up again that night around 3 or so, but i found that once i woke up, i couldn't move. had i suddenly become paralyzed in my sleep or something? what the fuck was going on? was i hallucinating or some shit? or was i literally about to die right then and there?

if so, must be nice.

i couldn't move, nor could i speak, much less yell for help. i felt something dig it's claws into my upper arms, and then i felt heat by my left ear, followed by a whisper.

"jare, look at me," the voice whispered, and i didn't even know what i was supposed to be looking at. "look me in my eyes."

i couldn't see anything, so i didn't know what i was supposed to look at, but i closed my eyes, and re opened them again, until i was staring right into a pair of those big brown eyes with freckles all around them that i know and love so well.