Greenland

18 | Scared

Oliver's Point of View

Jaq said he was at home with Mal and Luna.

So that's where I went. I needed help. Desperately. When he answered the door, I asked if I could talk to him privately. Mal went in Luna's room and I went in his. I sat on the edge of his bed, bouncing my leg anxiously.

"I don't know what to do." I said, running my hand through my hair. "What do I say to Qivi? How do I help her?"

Jaq looked at me, confused. "What have you been doing for the past two weeks?"

I averted my gaze, ashamed. "I've been... we just... every time I try to talk to her, we end up in bed. But she doesn't protest against it." I explained, preparing myself for the judgment.

"You haven't talked about it at all?" He asked, in utter disbelief.

"I mean, we've talked. But not directly about it." I said, trying to find the right words. "I feel like she doesn't want to talk about it so I just avoid it."

He held my gaze from his spot on the bed. "Oliver, it's going to be a difficult conversation but you have to ask her. She's going to answer with complex statements and you're going to have to try your best to say the right things."

"But what if I don't?" I retorted.

"Then you don't." He replied bluntly. "But first things first. You have to talk to her, okay?"

I nodded, trying to calm myself down. Qivi and I were complicated. I love her and she loves me. There was no denying that. But when it came to communication, we absolutely sucked. Once, we ignored each other for a whole week because we were afraid of confronting our problems. I don't know why it was so hard for us. We were close, we understood one another, we had so much in common, but we were scared of screwing up.

Now that there was this whole Avi situation, things were definitely ten times harder. I didn't know the first thing about comforting someone who had lost a loved one. My life was good. Decent, I guess. I had my mom and my little sisters. I didn't know my dad and I didn't want to meet him. We were as stable as we could be and I was content. This was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

I went directly to Qivi's house. Her stepmom told me she was upstairs. Her two little step brothers were running around the house and hugged me as I entered. I knocked hesitantly on her door, hearing the faint sound of music. She opened the door, smiling when she realized it was me. I pulled her into a hug, locking the door behind us.

Qivi quirked an eyebrow, peering up at me. "You know we can't do anything while my family's home."

I laughed, shaking my head. "That's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?" She teased, leading me to her bed.

A serious expression overcame my features. "I'm apologizing."

Her smile fell, "For what?"

"Honestly, I don't know." I said, sitting on her bed. I crossed my legs and motioned for her to sit across from me. I took her hands in mine and stared at them, too afraid of looking her in her eyes. "You just lost your brother and I haven't even asked you about how you're doing. I don't know why... maybe because I know you're not okay, so why bother asking, you know? I just don't know how to help you and I'm sorry."

I looked up at her expectantly, but she didn't seem mad at all. Instead, she seemed relieved and I don't know, maybe happy. "Don't be sorry." She began. "I know you care and you're trying. That's all that matters."

"But we haven't even talked about it." I pointed out, a little disappointed in myself.

She shook her head. "Babe, we don't have to talk about it. If I want to, then I will. But so far, I feel like that's all anybody talks about and I just need time to collect how I feel towards it."

I nodded slowly. "But how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "It still seems surreal to me. Of course, I'm mad and sad and confused. But so is everyone else. I guess I'm trying to figure it out for myself."

"Me too." I said.

"Thank you." Qivi said.

"For what?" I asked, confused. I didn't do anything.

"For coming over. For saying the right things to make me feel better." She shrugged. "For everything."

"That's what boyfriends are for." I scanned her face, her beautiful hazel eyes looking at me through her long lashes. A strand of her wavy hair fell in front of her face. I reached up and tucked it behind her ear. Then I cupped her cheek, leaning closer. I dipped my head and stopped centimeters away. "I'm here to love you." I whispered, my voice suddenly an octave lower.

She grabbed my face, tired with my teasing, and pulled me to her lips. She climbed into my lap and I held the small of her back. My other hand went to her breasts, touching her and squeezing her. She knew my weaknesses as well, reaching for the front of my jeans. I bit my lip, hard, to keep from making a sound. I kissed her jaw, down to her neck and then lower to her collarbone. I slid my hand into her shirt, working on her bra. She tossed it to the floor and then reached for my shirt, tugging it off.

I broke apart briefly, "What about-" I kissed her again. "Your-" again, "Parents." I finished my question, breathing heavy as I returned to her lips which demanded my touch.

I kissed her neck again, knowing that it drove her crazy. She squeezed me harder, so I bit her neck lightly. Damn it. "Do you," She gulped deeply, "have- your," She inhaled. "Car."

"Mhmm." I murmured, moving to kiss the bottom of her ear.

"O-kay." She said, her voice airy. "We should," she paused. "Go."

I nodded, but made no motion to move, my mouth on hers. Her hand was warm, sliding over my stomach seductively. She lowered her mouth, kissing my abs as I squeezed her ass. I tugged her even closer, so she was sitting on me. My hardness underneath her. She made a quiet sound, breaking away for a second before kissing me again.

We should have stopped right there, but didn't. It was already too late.

Until we heard a knock on the door. I opened my eyes in fear. Qivi scrambled off of me. I immediately pulled on my shirt, my hands trembling. She ran to the door, opening it the second I stood up.

She peaked through the door but no one was there. She sighed in relief, closing the door. "It was probably my little brother." She said.

I watched as she clipped on her bra underneath her shirt, a little disappointed. "Do you still want to go somewhere?" I asked, hoping she understood what I was implying.

"Duh," She retorted, grabbing her coat. "Let's go."