track 21 : lupin

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I WAS LIVING IN A DREAM.

In a thousand years, I wouldn't imagine being waking up beside Abby, her head resting on my chest, and one of her legs thrown onto mine. And last night—we kissed for the second time, and sober and in charge. I could still feel her taste on my lips, which reminded me that it wasn't a fantasy of my own but a reality. As I noticed she was wearing my hoodie, I figured out she woke up a while ago and slept back. So, she wasn't running away from me anymore.

Fuck, I was indeed living in a dream.

Moving my free arm, I suddenly slapped myself again and again until I was convinced that I wasn't in a type of alternative universe. Releasing a sigh of relief, I looked down at Abby, who was unaware of my personal crisis at the moment. I slowly shifted and grabbed my phone from the table. We still got thirty minutes to set off, but if we got prepared in ten minutes, we would have time to have a prolonged breakfast.

If it were up to me, I'd take this day off and lie beside her until eternity. This was a gift from heaven, and I loved her to bits. Being with her was like standing by fire; when close, it warmed you, but there was always a possibility to burn if too tight. I wasn't sure what to think after last night, though I'd seen the truth in her eyes.

How would she react if I told her I'd loved her all along? Was I an attraction to her, that she suddenly developed throughout our trip, something temporary and would eventually pass when she left for New York? Or did she share my feelings, willing to maintain a real relationship beyond this friendship? I didn't know, and for that, I couldn't risk it.

We'd been best friends forever. Even if I was burning for this love, it didn't mean I would throw this friendship into flames for nothing. One kiss, yes, it was giving a message—a compelling one, indeed, but it wasn't enough for me to come out. Not yet.

My thoughts hid back under the rock when Abby moved beside me, slowly breaking apart from me, and gave herself a stretch. "Morning," she mumbled, turning back at me with a smile.

"Hi," I whispered back with a smile. "If we get ready in five minutes, we can have breakfast."

Propping herself with her arm, she tilted herself and looked at me. "I woke up early and had breakfast—I'm sorry. I was just so hungry, you know. But I can drink coffee to accompany you."

"I feel cheated," I replied, getting up from the bed. "But okay. It will do."

"I also borrowed your hoodie," she said when I was pulling my t-shirt on. "I felt sort of cold. I hope you don't mind."

Turning around, I wandered my eyes up and down her body. She looked so great in it that I minded. But she wasn't going to know this. "It looks so good on you," I commented slyly. "I don't mind." Making her blush was my aim, and I loved to see my accomplishment.

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