Invasion from the Appleverse

47. The New Narrative Unveiled

Reality Prime. Fruitverse Subsection - Pineapple homeworld. The Fruit Park.

The President of the Pineapple Congress looked at his watch impatiently.

'Champagne, Mr President?'

The President declined to answer, instead snatching the glass from the waiter and taking a gulp as he looked around the vast function room, where the entirety of Congress were milling around with glasses in their hands or by the buffet table.

Barney, the aide to the Grand Pineapple approached.

'Where is he?' the President demanded.

Barney shrugged apologetically. 'I'm terribly sorry, Mr President, but I assure you that his eminence is en route and will be with us momentarily.'

The President didn't seem to appreciate the news. 'Late to his own party? Preposterous, but then I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Robert has always been a law unto himself! And he even has his own private fiefdom!'

'You mean the Park sir? The Grand Pineapple hoped that you would have enjoyed the tour and the view ...'

Barney pointed to the vista beyond the wide glass window that ran the entire length of the banquet and reception room.

A fat congressman who was standing close-by piped up. 'It was impressive ... but the expense!'

The President agreed. 'Yes, the figures for this place and our inter-dimensional role look monstrous on paper but when one actually sees the ... sheer excess!'

'His eminence ...' began Barney.

'His eminence had better remember that his title is largely ceremonial,' cut in the President, 'And his funding depends on congressional approval. We are after all a democracy and every man in accountable, even the Grand Pineapple! After all this, his presentation had better be superb because I warn you Barnard that ... that ...' The President dropped his glass.

'Are you feeling unwell sir? Perhaps you'd better sit down,' Barney led the elected leader of the Pineapples to an ante room and sat him down on a comfortable seat.

The President loosened his collar, allowing his neck spikes to stand out. 'Feel hot ... a bit faint.'

'Ah, that could be the desert outside,' came a new voice.

'Robert? So you've arrived! The desert you say, but it's very cool in here and ... ooh ... I don't feel so good.'

The Grand Pineapple stroked his white beard and smiled benignly. 'You do look a bit tired, Charles. All the hard work you've been doing lately no doubt.'

The President struggled to his feet. 'Non ... nonsense. Let's get this presentation out of the way and then we can ... ooh...'

The Grand Pineapple shook his head sadly. 'I'm afraid the presentation has been cancelled. There's no need for it anymore.'

'What ... what are you talking about!?'

'Oh the promise of one was enough. I simply needed to get you all here to the park and now you are ... well I'm quite afraid that this is a coup d'etat. Everyone here has drunk the champagne and now congress is all dead ... or dying.'

The President gasped. 'You've gone mad, Robert! Barnard, your boss is insane. I order you to take him into custody.'

'Power down, Barney,' said the Grand Pineapple softly and his aide froze. 'Barney ... the real Barney, well I'm afraid he didn't understand the moral imperative that drives my actions. He had to be replaced.'

The President suddenly lurched up and pushed past the depowered Barney, out of the doorway and into ...

All around the room he saw the bodies - the host waiters stood frozen while his congress lay dead or twitching on the floor. 'You ... you'll never get away with this!!' screamed the President as he collapsed and started to froth at the mouth.

The Grand Pineapple knelt and held his hand. 'I truly regret this, old friend, but you forced my hand. I am sad to say that you will be dead within minutes but replicas have replaced all of congress, including yourself. To the outside world nothing will have changed but I am now officially the power behind the scenes and my agenda will continue unchecked.'

'You ... you ...'

Genuine tears appeared in the Grand Pineapple's eyes. 'I wish it could have been otherwise but you were standing in my way - I have a multiverse to bring to order. Rest assured, Charles that I shall miss you ... though not too much. Your host replica will be of some solace and I look forward to resuming our old tradition of the monthly chess game and brandy at the ...'

Barney laid a hand on his master's shoulder. 'He's gone, your eminence. They all are.'

The Grand Pineapple stood up. 'Very well, see that the bodies are disposed of and meet me in my office in 30 minutes to discuss the next steps. I shall want full updates on Operations Wolf and Cactus ... or Pickle as we shall now call the latter. Close out the file on Operation Home and continue to feed the public the narrative about the reality warp.'

Barney nodded. 'They shall be kept in fear eminence and the new congress will begin to support your policies.'

The Grand Pineapple took one last look at his oldest friend and sighed. 'I really shall miss him.'

'I know sir,' replied Barney.