Invasion from the Appleverse

41. The Centre of the Maze

The Grand Pineapple stroked his white beard thoughtfully and sat back, enjoying the melodic piano music that echoed around his vast office.

In front of him was a projection holo-computer screen which displayed floating figures, stats and data. In fact there were several smaller holo-screen images off from the main one. The GP turned to the display of realities and voice activated the console.

'Enhanced view, Banana Republic of New Texas. Real-time feed: subject Doctor Henri Von Applestadt.'

A pleasant female voice answered. 'My apologies, Grand Pineapple. We are being blocked at source. Doctor Von Applestadt continues to project a constant stream of raelon-tach energy to disperse intrusive observation. To anticipate your next question, this appears to be a standard tactic to dissuade high tech espionage directed at his person. The doctor's armour constantly defends against this and other means of spying or attack. Analysis suggests an enhancement of the C.O.G.S system he developed on his own world a few years ago.'

'Define.'

'COGS or Constant Omnipotent Guard System is an operating system incorporated into Doctor Von Applestadt's personal armour. It runs 24/7. Shall I elaborate on technical specifications?'

'No, I get the gist. Calculate field of radius.'

'There is a ten foot black spot obscuring all but visual and low tech communications.'

'Give me real time on subject: Travers.'

'Subject Travers is currently within the ten foot field.'

The Grand Pineapple nodded. 'Thank you, Cherry. This confirms that Von Applestadt is working with the Texans. As anticipated he has aided them in beating back the invasion from the Appleverse. Leak planetary coordinates to Doctor Red Applechards; it's time we involved that newly powered fantastic ... foursome.'

'Initiating,' responded the computer.

'File under Operation 'Ray Gun.' Bring up screens displaying Operations Home, Wolf and Cactus.'

'Acknowledged. I have updates ready, Grand Pineapple, what are your instructions?'

The spiky elder fruit considered. 'Wolf is currently on hold. Inform Eggbert to hang in there.'

'Communications array uploaded and transmission burst has been initiated. I have received reciprocal information concerning an Apple named Ludwig. The Commander uploaded his message 7 hours ago - it details concerns regarding the long term safety of Subject: Henri.'

'I see. In that case amend my orders concerning Wolf. Commander Eggbert still to stand by, but bring Wolf2 into play and contact the resistance leader. Tell her we need all eyes on this Ludwig and that Henri is to be protected at all costs.'

'Observation, Grand Pineapple.'

'Proceed.'

'Wolf2 will not like those orders.'

'Her opinion is irrelevant. Now, as Cactus has by necessity gone dark out of the local sphere, Wolf2 must use her own network to ascertain progress. Give me the latest update on Cactus.'

'As you command, Grand Pineapple. Cactus or our initiative to insert crucial players into Apple territory, has proceeded slowly by necessity but at last report Subjects: Henry and Hubert have been successfully smuggled across the border by the Oranges. Henry is undergoing temporary  transmogrification.'

'Cucumber form?'

'No, Grand Pineapple. It was ultimately decided that in order to accommodate his curved form, that the appearance of a pickle would be best, but this has delayed transit.'

'Explain.'

'While cucumbers are not unusual sights even in Applestadt, pickles are more rare. Wolf2 reports that her contacts in the capital have sought out papers of transit and specialised skilled work permits from the Department of Slave Workers.'

'Very good. Vanish screens, Cherry, all bar Home. I want a complete update on the Maze and ...'

'Your pardon, Grand Pineapple, but Barney is approaching.'

'Vanish screen.'

The Grand Pineapple put on his glasses and affected to be writing something, when his young assistant entered.

'Yes, Barney? Wait ... one moment.' The Grand Pineapple looked over at the piano where a banana was playing and called out. 'That's enough, Bill. Cease all functions.'

The banana froze with his fingers poised above the keys.

'Barney. What can I do for you?'

The young pineapple moved forward, holding his tablet. 'Ah excuse me, Grand Pineapple. A communique from the President - he wishes to know the progress of the reality warp threat. There has been ... certain pressures from Congress.'

The Grand Pineapple smiled indulgently. 'Ah yes, the Grand Old Pineapples no doubt ... they don't really believe in reality warping.'

'It's um a matter of fiscal concern Sir. Congress feels our role policing other dimensions is just too costly and we should turn our attentions ... and budget inwards. Then of course there's the Fruit Park.'

'Indeed. My private project, which some feel is an indulgence, but I assure you, Barney, interest and revenue from the park still exceeds investment, but I suppose it's the use of time and talent that concerns the government. Well I will be giving a presentation to allay these fears ... at the park, in a few weeks. I will reveal a new narrative I call ... The Maze. I intend to show the President and the House in person that the Park is of great use to our society.'

Barney nodded. 'I'll pass that on, Sir.'

After he had departed, the Grand Pineapple activated his computer again. 'Cherry, how goes Phase Two?'

'On schedule, Grand Pineapple but as usual I must state my obligatory warning as required by law and the Pineapple Federation code of ethics.' 

'If you must.'

'As you know all fruit life forms bar Pineapples died out eons ago which is why the replicants at the park are so popular. However it is forbidden to replicate a pineapple.'

'Thank you, Cherry. How many are complete?'

'67 are currently going through the Maze.'

'And the President? Will he be ready on time.'

'Yes, Grand Pineapple. The President Host will be ready.'