Invasion from the Appleverse

28. A Seven Percent Solution

Igor finished on the phone to the agency. 'Excellent, send her over immediately. Yes, all she has to do is serve tea when the bell is rung and we'll pay the full day rate. Yes, yes ... the name is important. Now what about the boys? I'll need ten background ones dressed as street urchins from the Victorian era. Marvelous. Within the hour then. No later than that. The master is presently in his laboratory making a study of different types of ash.'

Down below.

Doctor Mangostein looked nervous. 'Are you sure about this Bar ... I mean Mr Applestadt. It doesn't seem necessary for ...'

Henri's face contorted in a look of rage. 'SILENCE Mangostein, I'll have you flogged with a ... ah that is, what I mean to say Doctor, is that for my method to fully work, we must maintain full authenticity. Now proceed.' He rolled up his sleeve.

Doctor Mangostein sighed and tapped out the needle. 'You place it here, like so and then ...'

'Yes, yes, I used to do this all the time in university. You're sure it's a seven percent solution?'

'Yes,' lied the fearful scientist, handing Henri the syringe that he had switched out.

Three minutes after Henri had injected himself with the sugar water and sleeping formula, he was out cold. Mangostein phoned upstairs. 'Hello, Igor? Yes he's out cold ... uh huh ... don't you think he's taking this method acting a little too far? Alright ... I see. Very well, I'll give him the adrenaline shot in about an hour.'

Upstairs

Igor looked around as Gina Grapevyk and young Jean Pierre came in. Gina was looking a bit apprehensive. 'Mr Igor, do we have to involve my son in this? What if it goes wrong and the master goes into one of his rages and decides to take it out on Jean Pierre?'

The old retainer smiled fondly at her. 'Nonsense Gina. The master would never hurt his son - he's very fond of the boy.'

Jean Pierre tugged at his mother's sleeve. 'What does Mr Igor mean mama? I thought I was playing the part of Wiggins, the leader of the Street Imps?'

Gina glared at Henri's butler. 'Mr Igor misspoke my son. At his age he gets things confused and says things he shouldn't say!'

'As you say Gina. It won't matter soon anyway.'

Suddenly Gina was afraid and clutched Jean Pierre to her skirts. 'What do you mean!!'

The old major domo smiled indulgently. 'There is nothing to fear. I merely mean that the master has made certain provisions for the future and that includes ... erhem, an acknowledgment of certain ... familial revelations. All will be explained to the lad in private before it becomes public. For now, let us stick to the matter in hand.'

'Alright,' replied a cautiously relieved Gina, 'But I still don't see why Heike or myself couldn't serve the tea. Why hire an old housekeeper?'

'It's part of the scenario Gina. The master has made actual headway towards solving this murder, but to complete his enjoyment I am putting certain elements in place. Why else do you think I am wearing this damned itchy false mustache and glasses when I have perfect vision? For the same reason we scoured the staffing agencies to find a middle aged woman whose name actually is Hudson. Confidentially it's Miss as the lady never married but we won't tell the master that!'

'When do I get to go in and deliver my message?' asked Jean Pierre excitedly.

Igor ruffled the boy's dark hair. 'The Baron will be waking in about forty minutes and I'll take him up to the drawing room where Inspector Bramlinson is waiting whereupon Mrs Hudson will come in to serve tea. It seems that the master was right about the missing chair being transported to the beach. The constabulary located it about a mile from where the body was washed ashore. Bramlinson will inform the master but say no more, waiting for him to tell us that he deduced that the Count was tied to the chair and lifted bodily out of the window at the rear and transported to the murder spot. At that point the Inspector will tell Henri about the object they found down the side of the arm rest.'

'The victim's credit card!'

'Yes lad. So far your fath ... er the master has been uncannily accurate in his deductions. Not surprising though, seeing as he has read every Appleton Holmes novel ever published and studied detection and forensic science. In fact we've acted out a few dozen scenarios from the Appleton Holmes casebook, but this is the first time a genuine opportunity has presented itself! The Baron has been thoroughly enjoying himself and I intend to see that he has a first class experience! Who knows, eh, he might even solve the murder and catch a criminal!'

*

As Igor detailed the rest of his plan to provide Henri with as authentic an experience as possible, little did he know that in the tower opposite, sinister slitted eyes were watching him like a hawk!

Downstairs Henri continued to slumber.

TBC