Formula 1 - One Shots (Book I)

Valterri Bottas - Love Yourself

A/N: Requested by @BeeBiBianca . Sorry this is so sad but I tried to make it fluffy. Hope you all enjoy. Much love .xx

It hurts to look at myself in the mirror every day and not being able to accept the way I look. I don't feel beautiful or happy in my own skin.

Growing up, I've been body shamed in high school and now it's even worse since I've started dating Valterri. I grew up to be chubby, people would call me cute when I was little but as I grew older I was seen as everyone called me ugly.

I've always struggled with weight loss due to being insulin resistant, so as I grew older I gained more weight. That was until my health was at risk, their was a possibility of me being diabetic had I not controlled my eating and started going to the gym.

I eventually did it, I made the sacrifice of giving up my favourite foods and sweets - it was going to be worth it in the end - I pushed as hard as I could at the gym, I got myself a personal trainer and I managed to achieve my goal of being healthy yet I still wasn't happy.

Everyday I see my self in the mirror, my cellulite and stretch marks remind me of the time when I was over weight, I feel worthless at times and at a stage I was depressed. I sometimes cry myself to sleep and I just can't control my tears.

I've never told Valterri how insecure I felt, nor has he seen the broken side of me and I also don't want him to. I wasn't as pretty as the other drivers girlfriends or wives. I was way different from all of them, not in a good way in my opinion.

Now that the season is over, Valterri and I have time to go out together. I was staying over at his house in Finland for the winter break as he insisted and plus it's hard to argue with him.

He suggested that tonight we go out for dinner, a date like the old times which I was really looking forward to.

He was gone out for the day as he had training to do. I thought of going out on a jog, I sent him a message in advance just so he knew and wouldn't get paranoid about my whereabouts.

When I jogged on my way back home, I saw that he just pulled up with his Mercedes. Perfect timing. "Heyy" I smiled as I waited for him to get out of the car. "I didn't see you there, right on time" he said as he glanced at his watch before locking the car and walking over to me. He then placed his hand on my lower back and gave me a quick kiss.

"How was your workout ?" I asked as I then unlocked the front door. "Same old, nothing new" he shrugged his shoulders and closed the door behind him. "Yours ?" He asked. "Tiring but it felt good to go out and get some fresh air" I said as I headed to the fridge to get myself a bottle of water. He followed closely behind me. I leaned on the counter as I took a sip of my water, I felt his presence get closer behind me. He placed his arms on either side of the counter as he had me trapped.

He turned me around to face him, I continued to sip on my water, "How about we shower together before we go ?" He suggested as he had a cheeky grin. I almost choked on my water at his words. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, "Excuse me ?" I asked in shock.

"It will be fun" he said as his eyes drifted from my eyes to my lips. "Nice try babe but no" I said as I placed my hands on his chest to push him away. "I'll convince you next time" he yelled as he walked towards the bedroom. "We'll see babe" I yelled back and couldn't help but blush at the thought.

After having a shower in the guest room, I slipped on my underwear and padded to my suitcase to find something to where, preferably a dress. I decided to try on a red bodycon dress at first and was quick to remove it as I wasn't happy with the way it hugged my body in all the wrong places.

I then tried a skirt and a blouse, which yet again I wasn't happy with the way it looked. "Ughh" I yelled in frustration. I removed the skirt and blouse then tossed it to the pile I created.

I stood for a minute in front of the mirror as I took in my semi-naked figure. The stretch marks and the cellulite all over my body made me break down. The words of others played in my head, all the hate that I've gotten growing up was getting to me.

I ran my fingers through my hair to get it away from my face then laid down on the guest bed. I curled myself into a ball as I let the tears flow freely. "Love, are you ready ?" He asked as he knocked on the door. With no response and my muffled cries, he pushed through the door to find me on the bed.

He walked over to me as he quickly removed his jacket and covered me with it. "What's wrong ?" He asked worriedly as he took a seat next to me on the bed. "I don't want to talk about, you're not supposed to see me like this" I cried more as I pulled his jacket closer to me. He ran his fingers down my hair then laid down beside me, he pulled my figure closer to him so that my face nuzzled his neck.

"Why am I not supposed to see you like this ? Tell me what's wrong ? I need to know why you're crying" he said as he continued to sooth my hair down. "I-I...I'm not happy with the way I look okay. I'm not beautiful, I don't have the perfect body nor do I have the looks. I'm just ugly, everyone in high school was right" I said as I sat up to look down at him.

"Stop right their. Don't say anything more...how could you say that about yourself ? How can anyone even think of calling you ugly ? Before you even think of arguing with me, here me out" he said as he sat up. I nodded my head in a reply, he took my hand in his as he caressed the back of it.

"First off, those that called you ugly are absolute idiots with no life. You're beautiful in my eyes, actually not even beautiful, you're damn gorgeous" he said which his last words put a smile on my face. He wiped away the excess tears from my cheeks with the pad of his thumb. "You matter so much to me, you've always been around when I needed you the most and that's why I need to be around when you need me. I don't know what I would do without you. Please don't say these kind of things about yourself again because you're beautiful and amazing no matter what the haters say" he said as he then placed a kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you Val" I sniffled. "No need to thank me, I'm just speaking the facts" he smiled as he soothed my hair again. "Can we maybe...just stay in ?" I asked as I hugged his jacket. He nodded his head as he laid down then pulled me beside him to lay my head on his chest. "I love you so much" he said as he drew figure eights on my arm. "I love you more" I said as I wrapped my arm around his torso.