I choose to Fall (Satzu)[COMPLETE]

Chapter 26: Decisions

Sana was hurting

She was hurting because of the defeated look on Dahyun's face after she shut the door. She never wanted to hurt anyone

She's realizing things about her and Dahyun, about her and Tzuyu.

She has never forgotten how Tzuyu planted a soft kiss on the side of her lips. Wondering what does it mean? What does it say? She's being paranoid.

"But what about Dahyun? What if Dahyun gave up on me? What if Dahyun pushed through with the break up?" These are the thoughts that have been bothering her.

What if.... So many what ifs. Till she just cried herself to sleep.

..................................

After I felt my feet go numb, I just slumped on the ground with my head on a bench, pitying myself.

"Tzu..."

I didn't need to look up to see who was speaking in a hushed tone and trying to gather me up and help me sit on the bench.

I texted Seulgi eonnie to fetch me from my miserable state right now.

"Yah, get the fuck up because someone will notice that you're a member from Twice. C'mon! Up!"

"Eonnie..." I answered, letting out small sobs.

I slowly stood up and came face to face with Seulgi eonnie. Truth is I'm still shy to her. I was aware that Seulgi is in the middle of a party with the SM ent. when I called her.

I was also aware that Seulgi would be willing to drop anything or everything if I need her. That's how great of a friend the Red Velvet is. Even though I'm always ditching her if she's inviting me to hangout or atleast have dinner with her members. She's always been the same friend for me.

"Eonnie... Sorry." I said bitting my lips to control the sobbing.

"Yah, what are you saying? Sorry? Sorry for what? What happened?"

"Sana...." I blurted out, trying to catch big gulps of air.

I saw Seulgi looked at me with wide knowing eyes. She knew how badly and madly in love I am with the girl in question.

She was the first to know when I finally admitted to myself how totally bonkers I am for the Japanese woman.

"I'm listening Tzu."

I didn't even notice that i was zoning out of my sunbaenim again.

"Eonnie, I kissed her..." I said without any expression whatsoever.

"Wow. Good for you. But why does it look like your damsel in distress?"

"Yeah, I should be happy about it, right? But I heard. I heard her tell Dahyun how she only sees me as a friend." My voice started cracking up

"What?! Seriously?!" Seulgi said little too loudly.

"She said that there will never be anyone but Dahyun.." Fresh tears started falling, "I heard everything. Word by word, nuance by nuance and it hurt too damn much."

"Tzu, you know that you've always known that Sana doesn't belong to you? She was never yours Tzuyu. So why? Why are you like that? I thought you're strong?" She said a little too softly now.

"I know. I know. But she keeps on sending me mixed signals that she's somehow jealous, then when I kissed her, she didn't get mad at me. And that's where I lost it. I hoped for something, anything that would make me feel like she also feels the same. Turns out I'm a fucking moron for believing myself."