[18+] my big sister is a demon lord | 我的姐姐是個大魔王

Gratitude | 感谢 | かんしゃ

"Goodnight little brother! ♡"

Amae gently kissed my forehead and lied beside me, making a sound of satisfaction. The dulcet tone was shortly accompanied by multiple physical gestures that made me feel loved, eventually becoming our everyday sleeping ritual.

"Goodnight big sister," I felt her arms crept up behind, clinging onto me like a body pillow.

Today was particularly cold because of Xue season — massive snowstorm for the entire week. So her embrace felt especially comforting, as though warming through to the depths of my heart.

To think that sleeping together became this casual, I still found it hard to believe at times that I was summoned. In another world. Isekai-style. A fantasy turned reality. It was hard to imagine someone like me fighting a demon lord and saving the world from demise.

Ironically, I was summoned by the demon lord. To be her little brother through a Love Ritual.

That night, I remembered Amae spreading her arms wide like a teddy bear, beckoning me to join her in bed. As she rested soundly, I ended up pulling an all-nighter because my heart was thumping nonstop the whole time.

That was the first time a girl cuddled me.

It felt so nice.

Days that became weeks and eventually turned to four months, I learned that my big sister would mutter silly things while asleep.

"You're so cute when you..."

"Make me food..."

"I'm recharging..."

"Meow meow..."

It was so amusing that sometimes I could not help but giggle quietly. Maybe this was a demon lord thing, but it made me feel close knowing she acted her most vulnerable around me.

But for some reason, I felt emotional tonight. Like the falling snow, my mind was consolidating itself into heaps of uneasiness. This time, about my past.

I was always by myself, never actually connecting with the people back in my world. It was like living in the empty void. An inexplicable feeling of melancholy. It felt as if I was missing something as I continued searching for what seemed like a needle in a haystack.

But what was I searching for in the first place?

Was it friendship? Was it intimacy? Or was it love?

In my world, everyone around me was only concerned with themselves. Genuine friendships were difficult to maintain, let alone a romantic relationship. It seemed I was the only one struggling while others were having fun together, enjoying their youth to the fullest.

Why can't I have that?

Is something wrong with me?

Similarly, it was hard for someone like me, who was not very masculine and shy in personality to find a partner. Socially, I was not expressive about my feelings and always found it tough to actively go to parties without being completely drained the next day.

I don't like to be alone.

I'm tired of being alone.

Why is it that I feel so lonely even when I have friends around me?

I should find a girlfriend.