Reason to be - Harry Styles ✓

26. Confessions

Harry didn’t respond for a few minutes, as he looked at me with a small frown on his face. It was obvious that he was surprised, but I was shocked myself. I didn’t even know where that came from, or that I actually felt that. But it was true somehow, although that wasn’t exactly my point.

“Love must be…mutual.” I continued, without giving him the chance to react. “It’s when two people are both interested in each other, when they…care about each other, and they feel like themselves when they’re together. Like nothing else matters. You have to understand the other person, to know their fears and hopes. You have to be their special person.” I ended, taking another long sip from the coffee. I felt extremely strange and confused, as I avoided Harry’s gaze. Not only because I wasn’t even aware that I knew those things, but most of the time I was speaking I had his image in my head. But I didn’t love Harry, I barely even knew this guy. Besides that, I used to hate him. So I couldn’t suddenly fancy him now, of course.

Or could I?

“Do you always come up with these speeches in the morning?” he chuckled after a few minutes, as I reached to him over the table to give him a small poke. “So…you said that I have to know..things about someone before I could love that person, isn't that right?” he continued, this time with a more serious voice.

I did, but I wasn’t sure how to respond. Why, from all my previous “monologue” he decided to ask me this question?

I nodded.

“Yeah, then I agree with you.” Harry spoke slowly, looking into my eyes with sincere eyes “But let’s suppose that the person is technically a stranger; you barely even know each other. Though, they keep invading your mind; you can’t help but think about them, every minute of…every day. And you feel that you want to know every little thing about them, but you have no idea how to…know them. What do you do?”

During the next moments, I felt all defeated by all the emotions showing up on my face; shock, realization and…disappointment. Shock, because everything he said was describing my last week perfectly; the way he showed up in my mind, while his smile couldn’t let me breathe, and then the realization, remembering that all those things stopped when I met Harry again a few days ago. But I couldn’t explain how, or why. The disappointment though, was another story; I didn’t want to admit it, Mostly because I couldn’t believe that I actually felt sad as now I knew that there was a girl in his mind. A girl out there, that was making him feel everything he made me believe. And that was the proof to my point, again. It didn’t matter if I liked their “One Direction” music or not, to him I was just like any other fan.

But that was okay with me; he could do whatever he wanted with his life. The thing that was pissing me off was that I knew he had seen all my feelings written on my face, and I couldn’t let him see me weak.

“Oh, um, I…err…” I stuttered, as my cheeks flushed red. I shook my head; I couldn’t do this. No. I…

Suddenly, I felt something warm covering my hand, and I could feel my cheeks burning even more. I looked down, noticing Harry’s hand gently squeezing mine over the table, just like he did earlier. I didn’t know why, but wherever he did that, he’d give me a strange sensation of…peace. It was like, only his gently rub on my hand was calming me at least a little bit.

“Hey, it’s okay. Just say what you need to say, I won’t mind.” He smiled reassuringly, but I narrowed my eyes.

“Why would you mind?”

Did I see his cheeks turning a little pink? His eyebrows jumped up in surprise as he spoke.

“Weren’t you going to say….Never mind, just answer that question.”