Strictly Summer Romance (ON HOLD)

Chapter Twelve, Break

"Hey, you okay?" Madison asks for what's probably the tenth time.

I try my best at a reassuring smile. "Yeah, sorry, just spacing out." It's not a lie. I can't stop thinking about what Alex said. He knows.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks gently. I think he senses I'm a bit on edge. After Alex and I had come back inside I hadn't been nearly as enthusiastic as I'd been before. Madison and I had danced for a few more songs, and then he'd graciously asked if I wanted to leave. Luckily we'd drove separate from the group.

Madison pulls onto the main highway, and I debate whether or not to tell him the truth. "I... did something," I say vaguely. "It was a really long time ago, but... someone that wasn't ever supposed to find out about it, did."

He drums his thumbs against the steering wheel in thought. "And, this thing that you did, was it bad?"

I huff. Was it bad?

Thats the question I've asked myself a million times. "Depends on what morals you stand on I guess."

He nods slightly. I can see him trying to decipher my cryptic code. "So the person who found out about it, do they think it was a bad thing?"

"If I were making an educated guess, I would say yes." I cringe inwardly at the thought.

"Do you?" He glances over at me.

I huff again and look back towards the road. I'm not entirely sure how to answer this. Do I think it was bad? "I... I think that the technicality of what I did was not wrong. I don't think that I was wrong in my actions..." I try and word the next part adequately, "But, I do think that I may have been wrong ethically. Does that make sense?"

He pauses for a second thinking my words over. Finally he shakes his head, his face scrunches in confusion. "Not really."

I try again. "I don't think that what I did was wrong. I wasn't wrong in my actions. But I still probably shouldn't have done it." A piece of my heart slams its fist in protest at that.

You know you wouldn't take it back.

"Ah." He nods his head in understanding now. "So, why worry about it then? If you weren't wrong in what you did, and you can't take it back, there's nothing to stress over." He makes it sound so simple.

I wish it were that easy. I lean my head back against the seat and give him a small smile for trying to lift my worries. "Wise words."

"From a wise man," he says and gives me a wink.

Conversation is light the rest of the way home. He tells me more in depth about his dream of building a surf shop, and I tell him of my ambitions to be an author one day. He distracts me from my pain. I'm grateful to him for that.

The beach house winds into view, and Madison puts his truck into park. We both just sit and stare at it for awhile. Enjoying the peaceful serenity of each other's company.

"I leave tomorrow." He's the first to break the silence.

My heart drops again at his statement. I knew he was leaving but being reminded of it isn't really a highlight. He was supposed to have another day here, but there was a storm moving in to Florida, and he had to get back in case his dad needed help evacuating their house. I just nod my head in acknowledgment and twiddle my fingers in my lap. I don't know why my emotions are teetering so close to the edge tonight. I don't trust my voice not to betray me.

"Emery." I think he takes in my fragile state because he leans over and pulls my face up to meet his gaze. "You're an amazing woman. Probably the most brilliant girl I've ever met. Don't let anyone take that from you. I hate that I have to leave. I hate that life doesn't care about our wants and desires. I hate that I won't get to know more of you." His eyes scan my face like he's trying to memorize it. "I'm so glad I met you though. I'm so glad I got the few days that I did with you. I'm thankful for those at least."