"The lord can handle all your mistakes. He will carry your burdens." My father preached loudly to the church. I caught people sneaking glances at me after he said it. My father is a major pastor in our city and I was a part of the first family which means I was always under pressure to be perfect. So having a baby was a big ass deal. I still remember the day my dad announced to that church that I was pregnant.
"Your Daddy is ready for you baby." The usher grabbed my hand and Lead to the front of the church where my mom and dad were standing. My belly was poking so that is why I hadn't been to church in a while. Church members were asking questions and so we felt it was time to let them know. But I wasn't ready.. for any of this.
"Many of you have been asking about Seven. We as a family know God is always blessing us and he has blessed us with a grandchild. Our daughter has made a mistake but the sin was in the sex not this child. And as a church family we will embrace her and love her. Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." After the speech everyone's faces looked understanding but I knew I would be the subject of conversation for a while.
Flash Back Over
After church I went to the bathroom before picking up Kai for children's church. I peed and just as I was about to flush the toilet I heard people coming in the restroom.
"Pastor daughter looking a little chunky." I heard one say.
"Maybe she is pregnant again. You know she done slept with every man in town. God gave her that baby to stop her." A new voice said and they laughed.
"Well the lord need to come up with a new plan cause she is hot in the behind." They said and I had enough. I flushed the toilet and came out the stall. They looked so shocked. I washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom. I felt so angry but I couldn't act on it. I went and got my baby from daycare and walked to my dad's church office. I went in and he was at his computer.
"Hey daddy, can you give me some money to eat?" I asked him and he laughed at me.
"You got money Seven." He said and I giggled.
"Yeah I do but I want to spend yours." I say batting my eyelashes. He handed me a twenty and I kissed his cheek.
"Thank you Daddy. I'll see you at home." I said and walked out. It felt so good that I could still be a daddy's girl. Walking out of the church I went to my car and buckled Kai in. I made my way to Chik-Fil-A and of course got my food in like five seconds. I drove home and got Kai and my food. I went in and I went to the living room. I took my baby out of the carrier and put him in his swing. I turned on TV and enjoyed my food without a care in the world.
Well maybe just one or two cares.
I sat on the steps in front of my house waiting on my mom to come home. She hadn't been home all night but I wasn't worried. Every since I was a child I had to watch over my mom. She gets carried away with men and she is a serious alcoholic. And those factors don't mix very well. A strange car pulled up and stopped in front of the house. My mother got out of the car stumbling.
"Heeeeey sonnn." She slurred her words. I jumped up and went to the car. The windows were tinted so I couldn't see who was inside. I knocked on the window. The person rolled down the window and it was an old man. He was smiling at me.
"Bruh stay away from my fucking momma." I said to him. I sighed and went into the house.
"Okay son but the question is will she stay away from me." He remarked smartly and I smiled but let it go. This wasn't worth me going back to jail.
When I walked in I saw my momma laying passed out on the floor. I picked her up and took her to her room. After laying her down I laid in the bed beside her.
"You gotta Stop this momma." I whispered.
Laying in the bed I thought about how hard I had it in jail and just life period. But I always had Seven by my side to keep me warm and keep me together. I remember our last phone call.
I laid down shivering from the cold. I hate sleeping on these hard ass beds. And only one small cover.
"Time for your phone call!" The guard banged on the bars and I stood up. I turned around and opened the cell and cuffed me. He led me to the phones and I was able to make my phone calls for today. I called Seven first and then she called my momma for me.
"Hello" she answered and I sighed closing my eyes. I missed her so much. She didn't sound too good though.
"Sev I miss you so much. How you doing out there without me?" I asked her and the line stayed quiet for a while.
"I-I can't talk to you anymore." My heart dropped and I felt completely helpless. I love her and the thought of losing her makes me sick.
"Please don't do this. You know when I get out I'll be there. It's just a little while baby. I love you." I said and she started crying and I could tell because she was sniffing .
"It's over okay. I gotta go." She said and hung up. I hung up and I felt so much pain in my heart. I wanted to cry so bad but I couldn't let nobody see me cry. This is the worst place to be weak.
Why would she do this to me? I need her.