Darkness and Lightness- (An Emo Love Story)

Darkness and Lightness- Chapter 35- "Favorite Fix"

I'm really sorry again, I've been feeling not great lately, stomach pains and allergies and stuff, and I've been really busy because school is coming up soon, which means i will upload probably even less, and I'm really sorry about that!! >.< But I'm gonna hit over 100 pages before I end, and I'm approximately halfway there, so I better get writing if I want to be in the Wattys, you know, cause I'd rather end how I want that be in the Wattys.

But both would be nice! SO SERIOUSLY, if you guys have anything that you want to see happen or not happen or anything, comment! I will 100% take it into serious consideration!

I swear!

So thanks for sticking with me even though I've been so scarce lately!

I love you guys.

And to my fans that vote on every single chapter every single time, omfg thank you so much! Every vote counts and I love that you guys love this story so much, it means a lot lot lot!!!

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Felix's POV

I kissed each scab as I rewound the bandages around her arms again, dabbing at them lightly with some alcohol. Delia's eyes squished up in pain and she bit her bottom lip to stifle a squeak of displeasure, and I said under my breath, "I know it hurts, angel, but I have to clean it up a little before I replace the bandages."

Delia nodded stiffly, and winced again then relaxed considerably when I began to wrap the bandages around her arms again. We had to hide the scabs very carefully, because if the wrong person saw them, Delia could be reported to CPS, and losing the twins would definitely send her over the edge.

Hell, it would send me over the edge, and then Sam would have no one.

It was a domino effect, honestly.

Delia looked at me, her eyes smoldering with the intensity of her gaze. "How is Hazel holding up?" she asked me inquisitively.

According to Chris, Hazel was feeling better every day, but she still had certain times when she couldn't handle even getting out of bed in the morning.

I know how she felt. Like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. I thought. I felt like that everyday, when I realized how Delia was never going to completely heal. She was just going to be better, but never healed. And that scared me.

The realization that at any moment she could go back and relapse and fall back into what was her favorite fix. 

I wanted to be her fix. "Hazel is okay, Chris says," I murmured, distracted in my flights of fancy.

"Why did you do this?" I asked, gesturing to the newer slices. Delia blushed and looked down, ashamed.

Suddenly she stood and got the letter Miles had written her, handing it to me.

Dearest Delia,

If you're reading this letter, I told Elena about what I did. I slept with another woman.

Elena and I had never had sex. I honestly only wanted to ever have sex with one person in my whole life. That someone was you. I almost accomplished it too. Except for that party.

And don't cry while reading this letter. Don't think it's your fault. I love you, Delia. I... I don't know about Elena. I love her, too. But she's like a sister. You... you were always my one and only. And I'm sorry the ink is kinda runny, I'm crying a little.

And whatever you do, please... don't tell Elena? Can you somehow find a way not to? Tell her that I ran away or something? I don't know.

I love you, Delia. So much. And I know how much you like that book Thirteen Reasons Why. And... I want to let you know, you aren't one of my Thirteen Reasons. 

It's not your fault. I love you. Tell Hazel I love her too. And I'm so sorry.

And if you can find the girl I slept with... I got her pregnant too. She told me her name was Sam. That's all I can tell you about her, really.

But please, just try?

With all the love in the world,
Miles Lance (formerly living)

I looked up and wiped my cheek with the back of my hand, feeling bitter tears dirtying my wrist.

Miles had done this. I had done this. Elena had done this. Delia had done this. Everyone played a small part in the death of a man we loved.

We were his reasons, no matter what he said. I understood. I understood how she fell back into old habits.

But it doesn't make me want to understand. It doesn't make me like it. 

I shoved the paper into her hands and grabbed the car keys.

"I'm going for a drive. I can't stay here," I yelled, furious.

I was leaving for a while.

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Welcome to this chapter! My friend Reilly really helped out with this one so a big huge <3333333333333333 to her! c:

THANKS REILLY DONT WE ALL LOVE REILLY SAY YES

YES. YES WE DO

Vote and comment and whatnot, and the song on the side --> showed to me by Reilly helped me out as well!

It inspired the chapter, so over there ---> is the song and Hazel!