Today I Met The Girl I'm Going To Marry | jensoo

Chapter 51

If I go back to her now when she isn't ready, we'll never work out.

But I want to be with her.

So I'm no better off and I'm regretting my decision.

It was the correct decision.

It was the smart decision.

It was the worst decision of my life.

How could I just leave her like that?

How?

Someone explain it to me!

Because you thought you were doing the right thing.

Hey!

I told you, voice, to never come back!

It's because of you that I'm all by myself, in my Piglet pajamas, wallowing in self pity.

I wait a few beats but the voice doesn't say anything.

Damn right you won't!

I've picked up the phone like a million times to call Jennie but I never hit the call button.

I also checked my phone a million more times to see if somehow I had missed her calling me. It was such a ridiculous thought because my phone has been right by my side the whole time but that didn't stop me from looking at it every couple of seconds.

One time...

I don't even want to admit this.

Anyway, one time, I called myself from my landline just to make sure my phone was actually working.

Loser!

I'm so pathetic.

I've cut off all communication with the outside world.

Well, not all communication.

I email my mom and Rosé.

But that's about it.

I'm not speaking to anyone else.

My dad found out what happened and told my mom to tell me that I could take the week off work.

Thank god!

I'm in no position to manage anyone's career when I'm barely functioning.

Plus, there's that other reason.

The one that shall go unspoken about for the time being.

I've been camping out on my couch day and night.

I'm barely sleeping.

But I did polish off my mom's care package and then some.

I felt so gross.

I didn't even shower until a few hours ago.

I wasn't going to but I was getting pretty funky and I thought maybe, just maybe a shower would make me feel semi-human again.

It didn't.

I've watched every, sappy, romantic movie I own.

At least it feels that way.

And I cried at the end of every one because the couples in whatever movie it was I was watching got a happy ending.

Unlike me.

I got the kicked-you-in-the-crotch-twist-your-nipple-and-throw-dirt-on-you ending.

Boo!

Hiss!