Chapter 42

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I down another drink but when I go to order my next one, the bartender cuts me off.

How dare he assume I've had too much to drink!

So what if I can't feel my legs?

So fucking what?

I can still feel my shattered heart and I'd give anything not to.

Anything.

I hear Jennie's voice saying she's done with me in my mind over and over again. The coldness of her tone and the pain it caused, makes me wish I could erase that memory. That's where the alcohol comes into play, that's what I want it to do, but it's not working.

I searched for a girl to make Jennie the furthest thing from what I'm thinking about but it was pointless exercise. Nobody I've seen has even come close to matching her beauty and I can only assume that their personality wouldn't be up to par either.

Not that I'm really looking to have a deep conversation or anything.

I just want someone who can ease the indescribable stinging sensation my fight with Jennie caused throughout my body.

But there really is only one person who can, and she's in a cab as we speak, on her way home.

On her way home to her boyfriend.

Life is so fucking unfair.

Ugh!

I really need to find Rosé because as much as I don't want to bail on her, I don't have it in me to be here in this noisy place, surrounded by people looking to have a good time. I'd rather go home, change into my comfiest pajamas and try to forget this night ever happened.

Yeah, like that's even possible.

I have to get out of here before I cry.

"Hey," Rosé shouts as she latches onto my shoulders from behind. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Sorry," I mumble. "How are things going with you and your girl?"

"So good," Rosé exclaims with a big smile. "She has moves I would love to see her do naked."

I laugh along with Rosé even though my hearts not in it.

I can't let her know what happened with Jennie because she'll end up leaving and it's not fair that she's always taking care of me. She deserves to have a fun night and that's what I'm going to give to her.

"Where's Jennie?" Rosé inquires after she orders herself another drink. I contemplate asking her to buy one for me, but I nix that idea, I really am at a point where I should stop. "I can't see her anywhere."

"She wasn't feeling well," I lie.

Not to mention that she ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped all over it.

I'm just going to leave that part out.

Rosé eyes me very suspiciously, probably because I refuse to really look at her, something I always do when I'm not being honest. "I don't believe you."

"I really appreciate your concern-you know I do-but I don't want to get into what happened right now," I reply once I make eye contact with my friend. "It sounds like you're having a blast and I'll just be a downer, go back to your girl and I'm going to head home."

I can tell Rosé wants to argue with me but I won't let her.

There's only one person I should be talking to and unfortunately for me, she's not really in a talking mood.

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