Long Way Home (Ashton Irwin 5sos) AU

Chapter 3: "Its just a fact"

"NO! Please stop!" I cried. The bathroom walls felt like they were closing in on my and the open toilet grew bigger as the two girls came closer and closer. It felt like i was shrinking as everyone else grew bigger around me. Their faces came closer with an evil grin.

"You desrve this! You are just a pathetic bitch! Just kill yourself, we can make your life hell! Your not wanted here!" They screached. Panic ran through me, tears didnt stay long enough in my eyes to say they formed there, they just fell. My hands started to shake. Panic and fear is all that filled my mind.

"PLEASE! NO!" I begged again. My arms started to shake, like it was a virus spreading from my hands. It felt like head burned it felt like it was going to explode as the girls grabbed it pulling my hair back. The wole world started to get hot, like it was on fire.  My face burned from the tears falling down.

"Shut up and you might want to hold you breath!" They laughed knocking me down onto my knees and pushing my head towa...

Suddenly everything begam dark and I shot up in my bed. Waking up from these flashback dreams was always a shock. There were tears falling down my face and my arms were shaking just like in the dream, just like when it happened. But now I was 17, in England and away from those girls. 

It happened on a weekly basis, it was always once or twice a week they would come, ever since we moved. The actual bullying stopped but it was the after effects was just as bad. And now my family think I am better there is no one to talk to about it because my friends dont know. And they never will.

Rolling over onto my side I decided that there was no point in going back to sleep, I never can after a dream. I always end up doing this but I relive what happened. Quietly I got out of bed and turned on the small lamp. Glancing at the full length mirror on the wall I stripped of my baggy pajamas leaving me in just my underware. I turned back to the mirror and looked myself up and down. There were scars on my legs from when I was pushed over onto the rocks ripping my legs up and when they beat me. There were finger shaped bruises on my stomach from where I pocked and proded at it. I may get bruise from it but I cant help but pull at all the fat, some people have told me that im to skinny but thats most what people said for years. So I got a thing down not eat lunch at all but every second day not have breakfast either. It kinda works but there is still so much flabbyness.

I think being with Ashton today set of the dream, the questions he asked. He acted like he was actually interested. But he cant be becuse no one has been interested for so many years now. Its just not going to happen, no one will ever be bothered what goes on with me. Its just a fact.